How to Get Rid of a Manipulative Boyfriend

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sick of your boyfriend taking advantage of you? It's time to get rid of's how.

1. Get support from a close friend or family member.
2. Make a solid plan for how you will separate, what you will do after that if he tries to "get you to take him back" and makes you think it will all be better.
3. Be absolutely solid in what you want for yourself.
4. Make little reminders for yourself that you will see daily, throughout the day, that will strengthen you. (Things like a phrase or thought that when you read it will make you strong--or will remind you of why you need to do this, such as a specific time you were manipulated and didn't like it).
5. Add one or two new things into your life that you are scheduled to do. Like sign up for a yoga class (this helps you to focus your mind and body on your own relaxation and strength as well as gives your body good exercise). Take a free class at a local library or museum, join a amateur sports club, or take music lessons. If you cannot afford to do something that costs money, then go to the library and find out about someone that teaches or knows something you'd like to know more about, and offer to trade services with that person so you can have a scheduled class.
6. Remain strong knowing that you're doing what you want and need instead of wondering what you're going to do.
7. Find out if there are assertiveness training classes from your local police department or women's center. These are often free and will give you good tips that help you to be strong and assertive.

Be strong and stay on your goals. Get some distance, allow yourself some space. Time helps heal. Do not, under any circumstances, communicate with your ex. If he sends you a friendly text-message just to say hey and ask how you are doing, do not text him back! If he calls you, do not return his calls. If you are truly trying to get a guy out of your life, you need to be as firm as possible. If you break up with him and yet are still talking to him on a regular basis, he will be getting mixed signals and might try to squeeze his way back into your life. Just don't do it. Call your phone carrier and ask for a new number. Most allow one free change, and charge a small fee for changes after that. Change your email address too. Giving up your number and email address are a small price to pay to cut off two means of communication that he has with you. Lots of women have had manipulative partners (some that have turned violent) and were able to get out and get help. Seek out these people for good advice and support. Look online for forums to talk.

If he's manipulative, he will probably try to get you to change your mind--if for nothing else, because he cannot stand to be rejected. This would be a good time to have that training from the women's center. He'll probably try to convince you that you're making a big mistake and he's all you have. He'll try to make it seem like you're worthless. Don't listen to him. He's just trying to make himself seem like the best thing that ever happened to you, when really the opposite is true. He will try to get in touch with you first with promises, second with anger and threats, and eventually with guilt. Don't take calls, emails, or texts. Delete them and remember that they are just more manipulation.


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