Ever wanted to reject someone without the heartbreak and tears? It's not that hard, really. Just be sure to follow a few of these ideas and you will be able to step away from the encounter unscathed.
Look around to make sure no one's watching. The worst that can happen is being rejected in front of other people! If there are people present, take their arm and try to slide away from the others. Perhaps if you can slip into a semi-private corner or at least to where the others are not within hearing distance.
Act like you feel sorry, and smile at the right times. Make sure you smile regretfully, like you really just wish you could give them a chance but it's not going to happen. This will soften the actual blow from the words.
Cheer them up a little. Be very kind to the person; being kind makes it easier on them. Be sure that your kindness does not stray into pity. The worst thing in a rejection is pity. They have put all their dignity and pride on the line, and pitying them will only make it harder on both of you to stay calm. If you act like you really don't want this person, be prepared for their reactions, mostly dejection, awkwardness and pain.
Use a calm, collected voice when speaking to them. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Take a pause before you say anything and think of the best thing to say to either end all of the attraction instantly or keep them as a friend. Act like you care when you say "No", or you may start waterworks.
Don't be so rude to them! What point would there be in trying not to break their heart if you're rude!?
If the person gets mad, stay calm and keep acting a little sorry, but happy as well to try to calm down.
The best thing to say when turning down someone that you do know or will have to see on a regular basis is that you value their friendship more than anything. This gives them their answer, without giving them any hope for the future.
If this is a person that you don't like at all, or will not have to ever see again, then keep the rejection as blunt as possible without being unnecessarily mean. This guarantees that they will not try again and will also not say bad things about you when you're not around.
It is also possible to say that you are honoured that they have feelings for you but it is not possible at this time for you to return them, but you hope that you can remain friends.
Do not flirt with them during or anytime soon after the rejection. It is very easy to just charm them with a compliment as you let them down, but be sure not to lay it on too thick or the "No" you are issuing will not be heard.
If you feel,however, that although now is not the right time, but maybe someday, give them hope with clear outlines. Let them know where they stand and perhaps what is holding you back from saying yes now.
How to reject someone without breaking thier heart
Friday, May 23, 2008
Posted by Jane at 5:44 PM 0 comments
A guide to type 2 diabetis
Type 2 diabetes affects more than 18 million U.S. children and adults.
Diabetes is a lifelong metabolic disorder that affects more than 20 million U.S. children and adults—about 90 percent of whom suffer from type 2 diabetes. The bodies of those affected by the disease either can't produce enough insulin or have cells that ignore the insulin. Insulin is vital for fueling the body’s cells, and when it can't effectively reach those cells, glucose builds up in the blood, leaving the cells starved for energy and potentially damaging the heart, eyes, kidneys, or nerves.
Understanding Insulin
Type 2 diabetes was originally known as non-insulin dependent diabetes or adult-onset diabetes because some people can manage type 2 diabetes with a healthy diet, weight control, and regular exercise. However, many type 2 diabetics need to take insulin to stay healthy.
Those who do require insulin generally have to be injected one to four times daily—an invasive task that can conflict with daily routines. Exubera, the first dry-powder inhaled insulin, and diabetes sufferers can also use insulin pumps, which deliver insulin 24 hours a day through a catheter placed under the skin. Insulin will soon be available in pill form.
What Causes Type 2 Diabetes?
Although there is no single cause of type 2 diabetes, there are several factors that can put you at risk. These include:
• a family history of type 2 diabetes, and/or genetic predisposition;
• low levels of physical activity;
• poor nutrition;
• excess body weight, especially around the middle;
• high blood pressure, or hypertension;
• race or ethnicity (African Americans, Latinos, and Native Americans are more likely to be affected);
• age (people 45 or older are at increased risk);
• a history of impaired glucose tolerance or gestational diabetes; and
• an HDL cholesterol of less than 35 mg/dL or triglyceride level of more than 250 mg/dL.
Symptoms of type 2 diabetis
Type 2 diabetes can be difficult to identify because many people who are affected don't initially experience symptoms. The following symptoms have all been linked to the disease:
• increased thirst;
• frequent urination;
• increased appetite;
• tiredness, or fatigue;
• blurry vision;
• increased or slow-to-heal infections; and
• erectile dysfunction.
Type 2 diabetis treatment options
If you suspect that you or a loved one may have type 2 diabetes, it's important to consult with a medical professional. A doctor will typically use a fast blood-glucose test, a random (non-fasting) blood-glucose test, and/or an oral glucose test to make a diagnosis. He or she can discuss options with you so that you can determine the best course of treatment.
In general, type 2 diabetes management focuses on learning the following skills:
• self-testing your blood-sugar levels;
• regular physical activity;
• following a foot-care regimen; and
• adhering to prescribed medicinal treatment.
In addition, it's important for type 2 diabetics to take control of their diet and nutrition. That includes choosing foods that are low in saturated fat, cholesterol, and salt, and consuming alcoholic beverages only in moderation. Type 2 diabetics should also make time to exercise daily and maintain a healthy weight.
Posted by Jane at 3:57 PM 0 comments
Be a Supportive and Loving Stepparent
Whether you are a parent yourself or not, the new waters can be difficult, so put on a life vest. Know who you are and where your strengths and weakness or lie.
# Realize that there is no manual for building onto an already existing family; we all carry some sadness for what is no longer there. Children and adults carry those burdens differently. Finding your place in the new family is the thread that holds together the life vest.
# Determine what keeps you grounded. Where do you find solace? If this is something you've never asked yourself, or you don't know, it's absolutely essential to do that soul searching. Because in the most trying of family times you need to find your own strength.
# Read any material on step-parenting, but remember to find your own style. Help is always available if you seek it out. Many religious groups offer guidance, and individual or family counseling can be helpful, as well. Sometimes all you need is a safe place to air your feelings. This is best done with a trusting and compassionate friend.
# Apologize when necessary. Always honor your partner and the bond with the children, just as you honor the bond you have with yours.
# Coordinate with your partner on discipline. Parents of any marital status sometimes disagree on discipline for the children -- discuss as many issues as possible ahead of time, so you can tackle them as a team. Pay attention to patterns; they can tell you a lot about what future issues might be.
# Maintain a loving and supportive household. It gives children the stability they need to feel safe.
# Go slow. Don't expect the children to embrace you right away. Expect set-backs. Let the relationship develop at its own pace.
# Sometimes we learn lessons whether we're ready for them or not. Reacting to life's struggles often requires a delayed reaction so you can gain perspective. This is where your life vest comes in. Will you take a walk to gain insight, or will you divulge your emotions before assessing them? Know what brings you peace when you need that small distraction.
# Always remember children will be hurtful when their life routine has been changed to their disadvantage. Calm should be your motto; no good can come from escalating an already emotional situation.
# Spend time together and foster new relationships. Children need to know your marriage is strong. Show this by taking the time to listen to your children -- together. Even if the children protest, eat dinner together, go to the park, etc. Any time together they will remember. Teamwork is the key.If you give respect it should be expected in return.Never tell the child they are immature or are have horrible manners. Its really not your place. By doing this you set the child on edge and they most likely not going to accept you.
# Seek professional help if the household is always full of tension, if your spouse cannot or will not contribute emotionally to building a strong step-family, or in case of abuse.
# The children might still be sad about the loss of the first family, so try to help them deal with the loss by being compassionate. If the loss cannot be described or is denied, professional help could be effective.
# Never bad-mouth or criticize an absent biological parent to his or her kids. Don't even do it if there is the slightest chance of them overhearing you. Even in cases of abuse or abandonment, kids tend to have a fierce loyalty to their biological parents.
# Take the long view. The step kids probably won't really appreciate you and what you've done for them and their parent (for good or for bad) until they're adults themselves (just as you view your own parents differently now than you did as a kid). The same step-siblings that are at each other's throats right now will have each other's back in 10 years.
# If the other parent is still alive, the best you may be able to hope for, with regard to your step kids, is to be a good friend. You're not going to be the kids' "new mommy" or "new daddy." They've already got one, thank you, and will be justifiably disgusted if you try to position yourself that way, the non-custodial parent will be furious, and your partner will be in a very awkward position
Posted by Jane at 1:48 AM 0 comments