Wonder why your emotions control you, instead of the other way around? Emotions are reflections of individual needs. With some work, you can get your life back in order.
Change the cause of emotion. Fix the thoughts, fix the emotions. Circumstances do not cause emotions – rather, your thoughts and attitudes about those circumstances do. the only exception is when emotion is driven by a physical chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be identified and treated effectively with medication.
Realize that thought is not the same as logic. Logic is a system for reasoning, and reasoning is what you do with your thoughts. You may be brilliant at handling your thoughts, but what thoughts are you handling? Even if your thoughts are accurate, processing a dozen facts about a situation may well lead to error if you are unaware that an additional 99 facts are relevant.
Recognize that you have the right to have whatever feelings—and any emotion—you want to have. But you also have the right (and responsibility) to select and use thoughts that benefit and enrich your life, and those around you.
Re-think your attitudes about your circumstances—change your thoughts—and you will significantly change your feelings and emotions (at least enough to positively affect your daily life).
Increase your awareness of and look out for moments when you feel an irrational thought or attitude coming on. Recognize and identify that emotion, then ask yourself, “Where’s the proof in that?"or “What evidence do I have that validates this feeling?" Then use all of the knowledge, tools, and evidence at your disposal, and your best judgment to behave appropriately – to do otherwise cheats you.
Choose the right time and the right place to express your emotion. Controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them. It means you recognize them and act on them when you deem it appropriate, not randomly and uncontrollably.
Posted by Jane at 5:56 PM
You can't stand your spouse's family. You make more money than your coworker. You've been sleeping with your boss for months. It's often said that honesty is the best policy, but by spilling certain secrets, you could be opening a Pandora's box. Which innermost thoughts, if revealed, could jeopardize your relationship?
Sharing these shockers with your officemates could be considered indecent exposure.
You make more money than others. Although some progressive labor experts believe in compensation transparency, most companies don't look favorably on employees who swap information about their salaries. In fact, sharing information about your income with a coworker could lead to feelings of inequity, conflicts with management, and even decreased productivity.
You're looking for a new job. Trying to find a new job can be stressful and time-consuming, but whatever you do, don't alert your current employer or fellow employees about your plans. They could choose to replace you before you find a new position. Along these lines, avoid scheduling interviews during work hours, and never use the office email or fax machine to circulate your résumé.
You're sleeping with your boss.Roughly 40 percent of employees have engaged in an office romance at some point in their careers. But a tryst between a superior and a subordinate can be grounds for dismissal. A better course of action? Don't engage in a romantic relationship with your boss, and if you do, definitely don't talk about it.
Posted by Jane at 3:41 PM