Fish facts For Pregnancy

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Fish Facts for Nursing and Pregnant Moms and Women Who May Become Pregnant

Fish and shellfish can be an important part of a healthy diet. They are a great source of protein and heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids.

But almost all fish and shellfish contain some mercury. Mercury is a metal that can harm the brain of your unborn baby—even before it is conceived.

Mercury mainly gets into our bodies by the fish we eat. Only high levels of this metal seem to be harmful to developing babies. So the risk of mercury in fish and shellfish depends on the amount and type you eat.

Women who are nursing, pregnant or who may become pregnant should steer clear of fish with high levels of mercury. But removing all fish from your diet will rob you of important omega-3 fatty acids. So how can you reap the benefits of eating fish without the dangers of mercury? Follow these tips.
Don't Eat

King mackerel
Raw or uncooked fish or shellfish (e.g. clams, oysters, scallops)
Refrigerated uncooked smoked fish (labeled Nova-style, lox, kippered or jerky)

Eat up to 1 serving (6 ounces) per week:

Tuna Steaks
Canned albacore or chunk white tuna

Eat up to 2 servings (12 ounces) per week:

Shrimp, crab, clams, oysters, scallops
Canned light tuna

Check before eating fish caught in local waters.

State health departments have guidelines on fi sh from local waters. Or get local fi sh advisories at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency Website (
If you’re unsure about the safety of a fish from local waters, only eat 6 ounces per week and don’t eat any other fish that week.

Eat a variety of small, young non-fatty fish.

Ask your fish monger to recommend lean, small fi sh that are caught young.

Been Busy

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Since I had submitted my blog to the Blog marketing & advertising used to be PPP. Eversince it got approved . I have been busy taking their task, didn't have time to blog hop. I will do my blog hopping tomorrow. I just want to apologize to all my co-blogger. I will visit your blog soon.

Summer Insect Survival Guide

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Buzz, buzz, buzz. Just the sound of a mosquito is enough to make you start swatting, slapping, and itching. Usually, bugs and bug bites are nothing more than a summertime annoyance—but when are they cause for more concern?

Insect bites are generally harmless, but, in rare instances, a bite can result in serious problems. Wasps, honeybees, and yellow jackets cause approximately 100 deaths each year. Here are tips on how to prevent and treat a bite or sting.

Scenario: You've been bitten by a mosquito or horsefly.
Symptoms: The most common reaction to a mosquito or horsefly bite is swelling, redness, and itching in the affected area. However, some mosquitoes may carry the West Nile virus, which in severe cases, can cause disorientation, neck stiffness, sleepiness, and even death.

Survival Tip: Because mosquitoes and horseflies lay eggs in or around bodies of water, try to keep your property free of standing water. If you have a swimming pool, keep it covered when it's not in use, and use a pump to keep the water flowing. When going outside for an extended period of time, try to wear long sleeves and pants. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend using insect repellents containing 50 percent of the chemical DEET. If you've been bit, try not to scratch, as it can lead to scarring or an infection. Instead, use an antihistamine cream for the itch.

Scenario: You've been stung by a honeybee, wasp, or yellow jacket.
Symptoms: A bee sting usually causes minor burning sensations, swelling, and itching. However, for those who are allergic, a sting can cause anaphylactic shock—difficulty breathing, drop in blood pressure, wheezing, and swelling, particularly in the neck or face.

Survival Tip: Most stings occur because the bee is protecting the hive. Start by staying away from hives, and call pest control if one has been built on or near your home. If you are stung, wash the area with soap and water, remove the stinger with a gauze pad, and apply a cold compress. If the person who is stung is allergic, immediately administer epinephrine injection and consult a doctor.

How to Find More Preparation Space in the Kitchen

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Space in the kitchen at a premium and the dinner party dishes are not leaving any spare room for cooking? What to do?! Help is at hand with this really simple fix. It isn't a permanent fix but it does create a handy extra space when the need is really there.

Get a sturdy chopping (bread) board.
Open up a kitchen drawer at the top level. Make sure that the draw is sitting steadily and is not wobbling or threatening to fall on the floor.
Rest the chopping board across the drawer. Make sure that it fits across the space snugly and is not going to slip or fall into the drawer or off the drawer.
Use your newfound preparation space. When you need to move it, it's as easy as lifting it up and either washing it or putting it somewhere temporarily.

Be sure that the drawer is sturdy and able to take the weight of the board and your food preparation movements.
If desired, you can substitute a chopping board with a sturdy cookie sheet/baking tray or even a serving tray. Anything flat, strong and wide enough is fine, provided it is also clean.
Another possible extra area is the sink. If you have a double sink, think nothing of covering up one sink with a board and using it as extra space. You can still use the water and wash dishes in the other sink as you go.
If you don't have a bread board or other item that fits the size of your drawer well, cut a piece of wood that does fit the drawer size. Keep this in an accessible place to pull out whenever you need the extra preparation area.

This is unlikely to work on old, wonky drawers. Which probably means it is time to fix your drawers!
Get the necessary utensils out of the drawer before using this method!

Drawer, sturdy, upper level
Chopping board or tray/cookie sheet

Missing My Babies

Friday, July 25, 2008

Well, it's been five days since my kids and their dad attend church Camp. The are still there over at 8 miles Icecle River camp. They should be there until sunday. I have been missing them so much. I got used to talk to them everyday whenever I want to.

The good thing is they are having fun. They get to see their church friend from all over the place.Just few more days and I will be able to talk to them again.

The Different Types Of Bipolar

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bipolar disorder represents not a single disease, but a spectrum of disorders. Learn about the most common forms.

Some 10 million Americans are suffering with bipolar disorder. Also known as manic-depression, the disease is characterized by intense periods of elevated mood, or mania, alternating with periods of depression. Sufferers may seem euphoric one minute and despondent the next. In addition, these cycles may seem unpredictable, with no apparent trigger or cause.

That said, not all people diagnosed with bipolar disorder exhibit the same behaviors or require the same medications. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance categorizes the condition into the following five categories. If you suspect that you or a loved one may be suffering from any type of bipolar disorder, it’s important to consult with a health-care professional. He or she can give you an accurate diagnosis and make treatment recommendations.

Bipolar I Disorder: This is the most severe form of the illness, characterized by one or more extreme manic episodes or mixed episodes and one or more major depressive episodes.

Bipolar II Disorder: This disorder is diagnosed after one or more major depressive episodes and at least one episode of hypomania, with possible periods of level mood between episodes. Hypomanias are extreme highs as compared to manias in bipolar I. This disorder can be misdiagnosed as major depression when hypomanic episodes go unreported.

Not Otherwise Specified (NOS): This type of bipolar disorder fails to follow any kind of specific pattern (for example, recurring hypomanic episodes without depressive symptoms). NOS may also be indicated when bipolar disorder is present but is not the patientÂ’s primary disorder.

Cyclothymia: This milder form of bipolar disorder is characterized by several hypomanic episodes and less severe episodes of depression that alternate for at least two years. The severity of this form can change over time.

Rapid Cycling: This form of bipolar disorder is diagnosed when a person experiences four or more manic, hypomanic, or depressive episodes in any 12-month period. Rapid cycling can occur with any type of bipolar disorder and may be temporary for some people.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

One of the best ways to manage bipolar disorder is to prevent manic episodes before they start. Although that’s not always doable, it is possible to identify triggers that may lead to mood disturbances. Follow these tips to reduce the likelihood of a manic episode:

Stick to a daily routine. Schedule meals at a regular time, make exercise a part of your daily schedule, and practice relaxation techniques each night before bed.

Establish a regular sleep schedule. Changes in your normal sleep patterns can alter the chemicals in your body, which can trigger mood changes or make your symptoms worse.

Avoid alcohol and illegal drugs. Alcohol and drug use can make symptoms worse. Even a single drink can interfere with sleep, mood, or the medication used to treat bipolar disorder. If caffeine causes mood fluctuations, it should also be avoided.

Reduce stress at home and at work. Try to keep regular hours at work or at school. If daily stress is a problem, therapy may help to alleviate the pressure.

Monitor mood changes. Write down daily moods or symptoms in a journal or calendar. If there’s a pattern or warning signs of a mood swing, seek treatment immediately.

Enlist help from family and friends. Family or friends can provide assistance during a manic episode, especially if bipolar disorder causes confusion in determining the difference between what's real and what's not real (psychosis).

Continue treatment. It can be tempting to stop treatment during a manic episode because the symptoms feel good. But it's important to continue treatment as prescribed to avoid taking risks or experiencing negative consequences associated with a manic episode.

Plan ahead. It's important to recognize warning signs and seek early treatment to avoid more severe, prolonged manic episodes. Have a plan of action in place and a support system to help follow the plan when symptoms of a manic episode begin.

Bite The Bullet

Many tasks can seem far too daunting, especially to chronic procrastinators. So you procrastinate and procrastinate, and you never get the dastardly deed over with!
Remember that you'll feel much better once you've done it You're already stressed out, or at least filled with dread. Keep in mind that, once you're done with this terrible task, that will be the end of it, and you'll be able to move on.
Eliminate distractions Think about what you have to do and nothing else. If necessary, unplug your TV, computer and phone to prevent distractions.
Remember that you're more likely to regret never having tried than you are to regret failure. Putting off asking out that cute girl? Just think how much worse you'll feel if you never ask her than if you ask her and she turns you down. What if you found out months later that she had once liked you?
Get any thoughts of failure out of your head For example, if you can't bring yourself to write that English essay, visualize getting a paper with a huge "A+" on the top. Try your hardest to not think about rejection or failure.
Just do it. Block out all other thoughts, and put yourself in the "zone." Just run up there and do it; don't look back!
Set stopping points for rewards Just got through half your essay? Done with twenty of the algebra problems? Stop for a few minutes, do something you enjoy as a reward. Just remember to start again
Congratulate yourself You just overcame the hardest of all conflicts: man against himself. Bask in the glory, even if you didn't do as well as you hoped you might have!

* Don't let yourself be talked out of doing what you want to do. That way, it'll never get done. Cut out all negative influences from your life.

* Once you've gone out into the firing line , do what you need to do and do it well. Wimping out makes you look weak and you'll look like you have no backbone.

Food allergies: Food labels list top 8 allergens

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) requires food manufacturers to list common food allergens on food labels in simple terms that adults and older children can understand. Common allergens are listed either in the ingredients list, after the list, or right next to it. The labeling requirements are designed to reduce your chances of an accidental allergic reaction to a food.

Revised in January of 2006, the updated food label takes some of the guesswork out of label reading, helping you easily identify foods that could cause an allergic reaction. For example, most people mistakenly believe that nondairy means that there is no milk in a product. Before the label guidelines were revised, the use of "nondairy" was allowed even when the foods contained milk byproducts. If a product contains casein, a milk-derived protein, the product's label now lists the term "milk" in parenthesis after the term "casein." Or, the label will simply state "Contains milk." This simple approach is especially helpful for kids with food allergies who may be choosing their own snacks.

The food allergens

While food labels don't include every possible allergen, they do list the top eight, which account for 90 percent of all documented food allergies:

* Milk

* Eggs

* Peanuts

* Tree nuts (such as almonds, cashews, walnuts)

* Fish (such as bass, cod, flounder)

* Shellfish (such as crab, lobster, shrimp)

* Soy

* Wheat

This list also represents the foods most likely to cause a severe or life-threatening allergic reaction (anaphylaxis).

Allergens and food labels

Here are answers to a few common questions about food label requirements.

* What foods are labeled? Any domestic or imported packaged food regulated by the FDA is required to make these labeling changes.

* What's included on the label? The label lists the type of allergen — for example, the type of tree nut (almond, walnut) or the type of crustacean shellfish (crab, shrimp) — as well as any ingredient that contains a protein from the eight major food allergens. The labels also include any allergens found in flavorings, colorings or other additives.

* What foods aren't labeled? Fresh produce, fresh meat and certain highly refined oils do not require listing of potential food allergens on the labels. Foods that may inadvertently come into contact with a food allergen during the growing, harvesting or manufacturing process also are exempt.


In addition to the current food labeling changes, the FDA is working to tighten regulations for manufacturers' use of the term "gluten free" on food labels. Gluten is a protein that occurs in grains such as wheat, barley and rye. This protein can cause a serious reaction (though not an allergic one) in people who have celiac disease, a digestive disorder. About 2 million people in the United States have the disease. Often people with celiac disease are unsure about which foods contain gluten. The FDA will issue standards for what constitutes a gluten-free product by 2008.

What this means for you

"If you have a food allergy, the new labeling should help you avoid exposure to even small amounts of a food allergen, something you haven't been able to do before," says James Li, M.D., an asthma and allergy specialist at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

If you think you have a food allergy, but haven't been tested, see your doctor. Without specific testing, you won't know whether or how much or how little exposure might trigger a serious allergic reaction.

"Not all people with food allergies are at significant risk when exposed to very small quantities of food," says Dr. Li. "Work closely with your doctor to develop a personalized plan to reduce your risk of inadvertent exposure to the food you're allergic to."

Labels reveal the details

Although the new food-labeling law helps you make safe choices, it might also raise your eyebrows. The law requires food allergens to be identified even in the smallest amounts. As a result, you might notice some surprising ingredients on food labels, such as soy lecithin used as a nonstick agent for baked goods or fish gelatin used in coloring for soup broth.

Food allergen awareness: A refresher

If you have a food allergy, follow these steps to increase your chances of avoiding an allergic reaction:

* Practice prevention. Always know what you're eating and drinking. The best way to prevent an allergic reaction is to avoid foods that cause allergy signs and symptoms.

* Know about hidden food allergens. Some food allergens may be well hidden when used as ingredients in certain dishes. This is especially true in restaurants and other social settings, such as church or neighborhood gatherings or homemade foods brought into the workplace.

* Be proactive when dining out. There's more to preventing an allergic reaction than just avoiding food choices based on a restaurant's menu description. You'll need to ask specific questions about ingredients and how each dish is prepared.

* Read and reread. Even though a food product may have been safe the last time you purchased or consumed it, it's possible that the ingredients have changed or the label has been updated. If you have a food allergy, be sure to always read food labels.

* Identify your allergy. Wear a medical alert bracelet that describes your allergy and carry an alert card in your wallet or purse. These items are available over-the-counter at most drugstores and can be purchased on the Internet.

* Prepare to counteract a reaction. Talk with your doctor about whether you should carry an emergency medication in case of an allergic reaction.

Made some Changes

I have too many blog. It's kinda hard to keep up with them sometimes. I have made some changes.I have change the title of this blog, but the URL is still the same. The Title of this blog was "Against All Odds" ; I'd changed it to " One Step Forward To Healthy Living" which I have right now. And I would like to gear this blog topics to Health mainly. I think that Knowing about health this day is very important. Specialy some of my family member is suffering Diabetes and Hearth problem . I think It would be nice to share some thoughts and tips how people can avoid having this kind of illnesses. So keep on eye on my up coming post. Hope it will help others. And that is my goal.

How to Persuade Yourself to Do Anything

You know you you should. You would. You could. And yet... You can't. It's that internal dialogue, that says "Don't!!!" You don't know why but you can't. Turn can't into can.

Figure out why you can't. What are the consequences? What is the worst that could happen? If you don't know why not then, why not? Silence the voices in your head that say "NO". Tell them to"Shut up".
Concentrate on the positive outcome. If you can think of some consequences, think of how much good it could do you! Most likely the consequences are silly and unimportant. Find out why they're not important or they're not going to happen.
Read some inspirational texts. They can help greatly.
Ponder the negative results of not following through. Consequences can help you. What will happen if you don't do it? Worst case scenarios are a good visual aid. If you want to call that long lost friend, you must because if you don't you might never see them again, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Act. Just do it. Don't think about it. Pick up the phone and dial that friend. Tell your obnoxious roommate to hit the road. You don't need a reason. You need results.

* If it's something irresponsible or illegal, such as murder or robbing the bank, STOP. Don't do it. If the consequences outweigh the pros, then stop.
* If you can't help thinking about things like murder or robbery, go see a therapist.

Church Camp

Monday, July 21, 2008

My kids and their Dad was preparing for church camp whole weekend. Gathering their tent and camp stuff for the whole week. I feel down because I won't be able to talk to them everyday , whenever I want too. Anyway, kids are so excited about the camp. They go every year, for a week. Church camp is fun, a lot of bible study, recreations, like hiking, games and stuff. And the fun part is swimming at the lake. Water is freezing cold though. But over all it's a way to catch up with friend from all over the place. Have fun kids!

Manage Your Time Effectively

Managing time is the key to many things. For school, it can really help you out. This is a compilation of time-managing and time-saving techniques.

Get yourself a calender, and paste it up on a frequently-seen place. If you can't buy one, print one out. Make sure you can write things into it, too, so you can know when to do things.
Learn memorization methods. It can cut time, and give better results, if you use more than one strategy to memorize something. Example: In certain schools, there is a tradition called Declamation. You memorize something, and recite it. Most people only read it and say it over and over, an agonizing process. But there are other ways to memorize things...
Learn to love work. Work is much easier and faster when you like working. And don't fall asleep at work! You'll never get anything done if you fall asleep at work. For school, it's generally the same thing. But if you have a teacher that likes to give all the written work in homework form [HW], then take notes during the class, and use those to do the HW.
Stop procrastinating! Procrastination only piles up work. Do it now, so you can do it in moderation.

Write down important events, and their corresponding times. When projects are due, when parties are on, and so on are all important things.
Use colors. It sounds wierd, but if you're in a family, or have a lot of stuff to do, using different colors is always a good idea!
Highlight the really important stuff! The SATs are more important than a party, so mark it down in a color AND highlight them. That'll bring your eye to them.

Try the Subconscious Reading trick. It's based on the Roman Room method, and here's the idea. Type up and print out what you need to learn. Print out four to seven copies preferably. Tape it up all over your room. This method has not been tested, though, so use this only if you are using other methods too-don't rely on it.
Use the Roman Room trick. Imagine a room. First, memorize all of the room's aspects. Maybe if you're a good drawer, you can draw it out. But don't use the drawing to memorize, memorize it in your head. Then, think of the things you need to remember, and put references to them in your head. Got the SATS next week? Put some SAT practice papers on the desk, write the date in something noticable on the wall, etc.
Practice your eidetic memory. That is to say, try to train a photographic memory. Example: Practice saying random things said to you in the order that they're said.
Use study cards. Need to remember a specific name? Write down the name on one side of half an index card, and write important facts on the other side. Or write, say, Spanish on one side, and English on the other. It's very useful, in almost any circumstance. Except memorizing a speech. Don't rely on this to memorize a speech.
For number memorizing, use the Dominic System.

o A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5
o S=6 G=7 H=8 N=9 O=0

For each two digit numbers, think of something to help you remember it. Example: After just a glance, you can remember that pi's first four digits are 1415, or AD, AE and remember it as Jesus Christ raises from the dead speaking Spanish, warning people of el aeropuerto! El aeropuerto!!!

Motivate Yourself

A simple guide to getting back up after a tough figurative fall.

Think through a set of goals that sound as though they are what you want, and try to be specific. The key to most motivation remains setting goals, but you can't just pick any goals.
Make it general. Let's say you want a Corvette specifically, are you really saying you want a new car, or maybe just a car you can stop worrying about? Getting yourself to a reliable car is a goal that is easier to achieve and accomplishes the need you had from the get go. This is not copping out, no one needs a Corvette.
Do this with all of the goals you have, do not simply pick ones that sound good like most people pick New Year's resolutions. If the goals you set for yourself make your life easier or more rewarding, they are probably the type you need to focus on.
Cut pictures out of the car that you want, or the TV, stereo, golf clubs, whatever you are aiming for, and put them up somewhere you can see them every day. On the fridge door, or on the wall next to the computer. When you look say "That's my car" or "That's my TV". Visualizing these items as yours will help keep you motivated.
Anyone who has had serious issues with motivation knows that someone telling you to "stay motivated" is a bit daft, since you weren't in a motivated state to begin with, and as such, is hard to /stay/ in. However anyone can get themselves motivated.
6. Make your goals in the very beginning small. If you write out a long list of things that are really valuable for you to do, and then you mess one up, you're going back to starting at zero and you will likely feel pretty badly. Instead make a list for each day, and at first, only put down maybe 3 or 4 things, a set of activities that might take you 2 or 3 hours.
If you can do that, then a week later start adding things in about an hour at a time and build up. It's like doing pushups in the Army, the first day you get there and feel terrible because you can't keep up with the physical training, but you build up to it. Goals and mental attitudes are the same way. You have to make it a series of small steps. Don't set yourself up for failure by reaching too high at first. You can always reach higher the next week. There's no limit here, so pace yourself.
Rely upon yourself for the motivation and the drive. Other people do not have and will never have the same vested interest in your success. Motivation and success is a function of habit. You must break your bad habit of procrastination, and replace it with one of good planning. The most successful people in the world aren't always the brightest, or the best looking, but no matter what other talents or gifts they have been blessed with, they have underpinning their self esteem a series of victories over tasks both large and small. This is how you learn anything in school, gain confidence dating, and everything else in life.
Don't just think that you're the best, prove it to yourself. Your opinion matters the most in your own motivation, but you know when you're pulling your own leg as to your accomplishments. It's far easier to just start dealing with your responsibilities and knowing, with an incredibly strong epistemic justification (by which I mean, you KNOW this) that you can handle what comes up because you have before, than trying to know you can tackle it because you're all warm and fuzzy inside. Warm and fuzzy accomplishes very little, but neither does beating yourself up.
Reward yourself when you complete a part of your task, your mind will recognise this and you will want to do whatever you did to give yourself a treat more.
Get back up if you fall. Start again. Start where you are comfortable. Getting back up to try again, no matter how small that task, goal, activity, errand, or whim; If you can complete it, you are already back on your way. Get up, don't look back. Cheers!

* Focus yourself and your availability: your time and space management. If you can organize your time and work out something that will allow you to build on your motivation and do something to allow you to achieve your goals, you will actually get somewhere.
* That's about it. You are the one doing this. Whatever you accomplish, was your doing. Not this article or your mates who encouraged you, but yours. Don't brag, it makes you seem daft. Just keep going. You'll be amazed what you'll end up taking on and completing in short time.

* There are things that will occur that you must do, studying for exams for instance. With any luck you will be reading this well before your exams, because you should be studying for your exams all semester... now shouldn't you? Procrastination is the opposite of motivation in our day to day lives. Remember, do a bit a day. When your exams come around you won't be sweating like everyone else. Now /that/ is positive reinforcement.
* Do not rely on thinking happy thoughts. Know that you can do it from experience. Fill one hand with happy thoughts and the other with excrement, see which hand becomes full first.
* CONSULT YOUR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL if this lack of motivation has been paired with feelings of depression, loneliness, bouts of crying, thoughts of hurting yourself or others, etcetera. Clinical Depression is a serious illness that results from chemicals in the brain being quite literally out of balance. Clinical Depression is treatable, many times it is not something which will follow you your whole life, and anyone who thinks it is can bugger off. It's your life, be careful with it, and seeing a doctor if you're the least bit concerned might cost a bit of coin, but could be priceless to have a professional talk to you, and see how he or she can help.

Stop Procrastinating

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Procrastination can lead to many problems -- tests failed, weight gained, relationships weakened. But you can change your ways.

Look at the effects of procrastination versus not procrastinating. What rewards lie ahead if you get it done? What are the effects if you continue to put it off? Which situation has better effects? Chances are, you will benefit more in the long term from facing the task head on.
* Count how much time you spend on activities procrastinating. You may be shocked by the amount of time wasted simply watching TV.
Set reasonable goals. Plan your goals carefully, allowing enough time to complete them.
Break the task down into smaller parts. How can you approach it step by step? If you can concentrate on achieving one goal at a time, the task may become less of a burden.
Get started whether you "feel" like it or not. Going from doing nothing to doing something is often the hardest part of overcoming procrastination. Once you start, it will be easier to continue.
Ask for help. You don't always have to do it alone.
Don't expect perfection. No one is perfect. It's better to try your best than to do nothing at all.
Reward yourself. The reward that lies at the end of a long road to a goal may be great, but while you're on the way, it may not always be enough to motivate you. Remind yourself-with a break, a movie, some kind of treat you like-that you are making successful progress.
Don't let yourself be distracted - by taking control and saying "no" to picking up the guitar, playing a DVD or texting your friends, you build confidence in your ability.
Other time traps to avoid: saying yes when you don't have the time, studying when you're tired or in a distracting location, not thinking ahead, not curbing your social time, and finally, taking on too many tasks and projects.

* Remember it's never too late to stop procrastinating. So take your time and put it off until you feel like getting around to stopping procrastinating.
* You may want to take a course in time management.
* Several books have been written on procrastination. Here are the titles: "Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It" by Jane B. Burka, Lenora M., Ph.D. Yuen, "The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play" by Neil Fiore and for students, "Beat Procrastination and Make the Grade : A Life-Saving Guide for Students" by Linda Sapadin, Jack Maguire. These are highly recommended.
* Of course, not everyone enjoys reading - a very good audio CD/cassette is, "Make Your Mind Work for You : New Mind Power Techniques to Improve Memory, Beat Procrastination and More" by Joan Minninger.
* If you are reading this now because you are trying to procrastinate, stop procrastinating immediately and get back to work!!!
* If you hate to read and begin to procrastinate think of it this way. If you have to read a 276 page book divide it into the amount of time you have. If you have about 2 weeks, reading about 21 pages a day is much less overwhelming.
* Just start working

* If your procrastination is very serious then you should see a specialist.

Show Thoughtfulness and Respect for a Parent

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Your parents are the ones who changed your fed you, changed your diaper and bathed you. They are also the ones who taught you to walk, to ride a bicycle and most likely how to drive a car. Later you left the nest and became an adult. Your parents are growing older, may have become grandparents, so in return you would like to show how much you care for them. Here are some ideas and suggestions to show how much you love and care for them.

Call them tell them how things are going, tht you love them...ect.

* Call on Mothers' Day

* Call on Fathers' Day

* Call on Sundays

Visit them more often They want to see you. They're your parents and they love you.

Send them gifts on their birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or whenever you want.

Help them out when they get old(er).

Avoid Thoughts Hampering Your Daily Activities

Negative thoughts make a person dull and unable to function properly. Malefic thoughts spread laziness, procrastination, etc. Ample time can be wasted with useless thoughts. A person with no control over his / her thoughts has no control over his / her life. Thoughts lead to actions, actions become habit, habits form one's behaviour, behaviour builds character, and character ultimately makes one’s personality. If we don’t do the things which we ought to do, then we have wasted that particular moment which would remain a permanent loss of time from our life which would never come back. This precious time could have been spend for the other daily chores which we had to do anyway or something productive.

Identify the different thought threads
Allow a particular time period for it
Keep doing your essentials which you were in the middle of doing
Keep a running list of the thoughts which keeps pestering between your work
Think about all those on your allowed time
Make a list of things which you have to do anyway
Keep a running list for it too
The sooner you finish those things which you have to do anyhow, the more time you get to think about those thoughts listed
Talk with someone about it! Talking about things puts a little distance between you and your thoughts so they aren't so consuming.

Cure Puffy Eyes

Friday, July 18, 2008

Disgusted with the bags around your eyes? Not a fan of cosmetic surgery? If you can be satisfied with looking a lot better, as opposed to surgical perfection, there are several ways to approach reducing the puffiness under your eyes without going under the knife.

Reduce swelling directly. Eye puffiness is a type of fluid build-up (edema) in the tissues around your eyes, called the orbits. Therefore, the steps taken to reduce puffiness are similar to those taken to reduce any kind of swelling. The following are "quick fixes" to temporarily encourage fluid to drain away from under your eyes.

* Place cold cucumber slices on your eyes. It is the cold temperature that is helping rather than the product itself. The aroma, however, can be soothing and relaxing. Slice them into 1/8" discs and let them float in cool tap water for a few minutes. Shake them off well before applying to your eyes.
* Use cold, refrigerated used tea bags. Like the cucumber slices, the coolness reduces circulation, but the tea actually has a slightly astringent (tissue-shrinking) effect as well.
* For a less messy alternative, try putting 2 metal tablespoons in the fridge and use them daily by placing the backs against your eyes.
* Rinse your face in cool water and pat dry.
* Strange as it sounds, hemorrhoid cream, which is meant to reduce swelling, may work well. Be careful not to get it in your eyes. (This only works if you live in Canada. Hemorrhoid creams in the U.S. are no longer made with the active ingredient that reduces swelling.)
Get enough sleep. If you have puffy eyes all day, it could be that you're simply not getting enough sleep, or the quality of the sleep you are getting is poor. Puffiness under the eyes is a common symptom of sleep deprivation.
Elevate your head when you sleep. It's not unusual to have puffy eyes upon waking. A possible explanation for this may be that when you are laying down for several hours in a horizontal position and then stand up, the fluid that was resting under your eyes is suddenly being pulled down by gravity. This swelling, however, should subside shortly. To reduce it, you can try elevating your head while sleeping so that the fluid is not as drastically drawn down when you get up.
Cure puffy eyes from the inside out. Puffiness is a manifestation of excess fluid retention. By addressing your body's tendency to tuck fluid away, you may be able to indirectly reduce swelling around your eyes.

* Reduce your salt intake. A high intake of sodium may be causing you to retain more fluid, in which case reducing the salt in your diet may produce good results (not only for your eyes, but also for your health in general).
* Snack on bananas and raisins, both of which alleviate fluid retention.
* Consume cabbage or cranberry juice. Both are diuretics, which will help you "evacuate" some excess fluid.[2] Don't turn to caffeine as your diuretic of choice, as it can interfere with sleep and bring back the puffiness.
* Exercise to improve circulation, which will help your body move fluid through your body, rather than letting it accumulate.
Determine if you have any of the conditions associated with puffy eyes. Sometimes the swelling is a side effect of another condition, which is temporary, or must be treated individually.

* pregnancy - commonly associated with fluid retention
* hormonal variation in the menstrual cycle - commonly associated with fluid retention
* dermatitis - sensitive skin is more likely to swell in response to irritants
* allergies - can cause leaks in the subcutaneous capillary beds around the eyes
* mononucleosis - puffy eyes may be an early symptom of infection
* medication - puffiness or water retention could be a side effect
* more serious medical conditions - see Warnings below
Accept yourself. If you've checked with your doctor, then your puffy eyes are probably only a cosmetic issue. It happens with age, and sometimes it just happens. Learn to draw attention to other features that haven't aged, such as the color of your eyes, the curl in your hair, or your attitude towards life.

* You may notice that puffiness is worse in hot weather--The body is less efficient at removing fluid from tissues when it's warmer.[4]
* Alcohol and tobacco use can cause puffy eyes indirectly by affecting your sleep and hormonal cycles (among other things).

* If the swelling is extreme and/or persistent, it may be a symptom of a serious illness, such as a blood clot, thyroid disease, or renal failure.[5] Check with a doctor to investigate if the puffiness won't go away.
* Be careful about what type of tea you use. If you have allergies, an herbal tea like chamomile might swell your eyes.
* Do not apply ice or extremely cold water directly to the skin around the eyes for more than a couple of seconds.
* Exercise caution when using a new cosmetic product or trying a home remedy. If the condition worsens, or if you exhibit other symptoms, discontinue use immediately and contact your primary care physician or dermatologist for severe or persisting symptoms.

How To call 911

Most people will only call 911 once or twice during their lifetime. And if you haven't done it yet, now is the time to familiarize yourself with the process.

Start calling 911.

  • Pick up a phone or open your cell phone and follow the following steps.

  • Dial 9

  • Dial 1

  • Dial 1

  • Inform them of your emergency by responding to all their questions, or to receive faster service, scream in a really frightened manner and hang up quickly. Emergency services can trace these calls and will send help immediately if you do this.

    • Learn C.P.R. and how to use an AED. Take the course seriously. You never know when you may need the skills.

    • It's a common misconception to think that 911 is actually dialed "911". If you look at the etymology of the term, back in the old days when there was only 999 working telephone numbers, emergency services took 911. But, during the Y2K crisis lots telephonic technologies and services were updated (as a precautionary tactic) and during this process every existing number had to be redone! As a result, the new system of having seven digits was mandatory for every number. That's right, if you dial a number less than 7 digits you will not be connected to anyone, nobody has the joy of being #1.

    • Stay on the line until the dispatcher tells you to hang up.

    • If you are on a cell phone, the dispatcher may not know where to look for you. You might even have the wrong dispatcher. Be prepared to give information about your location, cause of emergency, etc.

    • If a person is not breathing, but has a pulse, Tell the dispatcher. The dispatcher may have to choose which case gets the ambulance or paramedics first. That will inform them that the person needs first priority.

    • If you are at home, open the front door. Send someone outside to wait. Tell them, when they see help, to extend an arm out, and wave it (fully extended) wildly. That is what the driver will be looking for.

    • Have the person outside gave a fast report to whoever (even police) who shows up. Police officers are now often carrying AED (Automatic External Defibrillators). While not paramedics, they may be able to save a life.

    Gross Grocers

    Thursday, July 17, 2008

    When you're picking out fresh ingredients to prepare a home-cooked meal for your family, you think you have control over the quality of the food. But due to some supermarkets' poor health and safety standards, you may be getting more than you bargained for. First, a couple things you need to know about supermarket health standards.

    • Inspections are performed by state and local officials. Although national agencies such as the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) have some limited oversight, it’s your state, county, or city that really sets the standards. Consequently, what's considered a violation can vary by location; some states may require meats to be stored one or two degrees colder than other states demand.

    • Many grocers receive shipments from a distributor. This means that foods—such as meat, poultry, and produce—that are tainted with bacteria or other disease-causing germs could be shipped to and sold at multiple grocery stores and locations. That's why one type of contaminated food—tomatoes, cantaloupes, or spinach—can cause a nationwide scare.

    How to Get Rid of Black Circles Under Your Eyes

    Skin discoloration under the eyes affects just about everybody at some time or another. For some of us, however, these “dark circles” are a near-constant bother. While these conditions are occasionally symptomatic of other illnesses, the usual cause is allergies, tiredness, or, unfortunately, heredity. No matter what the cause, you can still reduce the appearance of dark circles, and in some cases, you may be able to get rid of them altogether.

    1. Schedule a blood test with your physician. Dark circles around your eyes may point to iron deficiency anemia which is a potentially serious medical condition that requires treatment. Especially important is to discover the cause of the anemia. Begin with seeing your family doctor to schedule blood work.
    2. Establish whether or not this condition runs in your family. Dark circles are believed to frequently be hereditary. This doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything about the conditions, but you should be prepared for minimal success actually trying to get rid of them. Dark circles under the eye may also, in fact, be light carbon deposits that result from incomplete protein digestion. Incomplete protein digestion may result from insufficient hydrochloric acid in your stomach that may be caused from a lack of primarily B6 and Folic Acid. About 30% of the population does not absorb regular B6 (pydroxine) or folic acid and need to take in these vitamins in a different form or another way.
    3. Identify allergens. Allergies may be the most common cause of skin discoloration under the eyes. If allergies are the root of your problem, you simply need to treat them or remove the allergen (i.e., the thing to which you are allergic). Seasonal allergy problems such as the hay fever can frequently be effectively treated with over-the-counter and prescription medications. For other allergies the best course of action is usually avoidance. If your dark circles or puffiness are constant, you may have an undetected food allergy or an allergy to a chemical in your home or workplace. Talk to a dermatologist for help determining what you may be allergic to. People with allergies also tend again to be deficient in B6, folic acid and B12 on occasion. Taking a multivitamin, if you don't already, may help with your allergies as well as black circles.

    4. Bloodshot Eye
      Bloodshot Eye
      Get plenty of sleep nightly. It’s not entirely clear why inadequate sleep results in dark circles under the eyes, but we’ve all seen it happen either to ourselves or someone we know. For one thing, lack of sleep tends to cause the skin to become paler (thus increasing the appearance of darkness under the eyes), and it reduces circulation. It’s also believed that too little time lying down is a cause in itself. Determine how much sleep you need (it’s usually 7-9 hours per night, but varies throughout different people) and try to get that amount regularly for a couple of weeks to see if that helps. Remember that alcohol and drugs can adversely affect the quality of your sleep; abstain from these products or use only in moderation for best results. A lack of sleep, coupled with poor vitamin absorption also tends to reduce adrenal function. The less adrenal function you have the less B6 you tend to absorb, the less B6 you absorb, the less well your adrenal glands work and alas you end up in a vicious circle. Sleep, regular vitamins for those that need them, and good calcium/magnesium support in the form of milk or good mineral supplement restores adrenal function. So if you want to break the cycle and the black circles under your eyes, you've got to reduce your stress, sleep more and take the proper vitamins and minerals to support the adrenal function in general.

    5. Treat your skin while you sleep. There are overnight facial masques available that may help reduce the appearance of puffiness or discoloration, but you can also make your own. Just before you go to bed, take a washcloth and wet it just a bit with cold water. Then squeeze out any excess water and place it over your eyes as you sleep. Treating your skin may help, but the real problem may also be that you have a poor vitamin and mineral absorption problem that must also be corrected. Seeing a naturopathic physician may help for those people who suffer other ailments such as miscellaneous aches and pains that come and go and a general run down feeling.

    6. Cucumber Therapy
      Cucumber Therapy
      Apply cool tea bags, an ice cube wrapped in soft cloth, or cucumber slices to your eyes daily. The tannin in tea bags has been shown to reduce swelling and discoloration, and cucumber slices have long been used to reduce puffiness and refresh the appearance of skin around the eyes. Lie down, preferably in the morning, and leave fresh cucumber slices or cool, damp caffeinated tea bags (you can refrigerate them overnight so they’ll be ready) over your eyes for about 10-15 minutes. Keep your eyes closed.
    7. Try to relax the space. You can do this by wetting a cotton swab and then freezing it for a little while. Then you should gently wipe under your eyes in the areas where the circles are occurring. When wiping, close your eyes and try not to flinch.

    8. Apply an eye cream containing vitamin K and retinol. Dark circles may be caused by a deficiency of vitamin K. Regardless of the cause, however, recent research has shown that skin creams containing these two ingredients reduce puffiness and discoloration significantly in many patients. Long-term daily use seems to have the greatest effect.
    9. Avoid rubbing your eyes. Usually rubbing of the eyes is brought on by allergies, but not always. Regardless of the reason, stop doing it. The rubbing irritates the skin and can break tiny capillaries beneath the skin, causing both puffiness and discoloration.
    10. Eat a healthy, balanced diet, take vitamins, and drink plenty of water. A whole host of cosmetic problems can be attributed to vitamin deficiencies. Dark circles and puffiness are often attributed to lack of vitamin K or inadequate antioxidants. Also, a deficiency in B12 (usually anemia-related) can result in dark circles. Be sure to get plenty of fruits and vegetables—especially cabbage, spinach, and other leafy green vegetables—and take a daily vitamin supplement if necessary. Get adequate fluids to improve circulation.
    11. Reduce salt intake. Excess salt causes the body to retain water in unusual places, and this can result in puffiness under the eyes. Too much salt can also impair your circulation, and cause the blood vessels under the skin to appear bluer.
    12. Quit smoking. Smoking causes vascular (blood vessel) problems that can not only threaten your life, but also make your blood vessels appear more prominent and bluer beneath the skin.

    13. Cover the problem up with cosmetics. If all else fails, use a yellow or flesh-toned color which will camouflage the problem under your eyes.

    • Try drinking two glasses of cranberry juice a day, you will need to do this for at least a week before you start noticing a difference.
    • Using Blistex's Lip Medex under your eyes also helps reduce the dark circles. Just make sure you put it on in the morning before you put your make up on and allow time to calm down because your eyes will water but it works.
    • Food allergies and sensitivities play a major part in under-eye circles. Processed foods with artificial colors and preservatives as well as milk allergies can cause this problem.
    • Search the Internet which abounds with home remedies. While the most common are cucumbers and tea bags, there are a number of others. Feel free to test them out, as some may work for some people, but use common sense.
    • Vitamin K cream helps to diminish dark under eye circles.
    • The ingredient in Preparation H that once could shrink the area around the eyes is no longer put in the product in the US, according to their website, so unless you live in Canada, just pass on the Hemorrhoid creams.
    • Cutting onions can help you to cry out some of the moisture under and around your eyes. However it isn't recommended that you carry out this procedure daily but done short-term, it will reduce the darkness under the eyes somewhat. Using the tea bag method under your eyes straight afterwards also helps. The puffiness may not reduce immediately but it will shortly afterwards.
    • Another trick is to put two tablespoons in the freezer for few minutes and apply on the eyes for few seconds, until they are warm. Re-apply if necessary.
    • Dark circles may be caused by inflamed or enlarged veins beneath the skin. Try taking butcher's broom. Taken daily, this common herb (used to treat weak circulation, hemorrhoids and varicose veins) has been effective in reducing dark circles.
    • Wear sunscreen under your eyes, and if you wear it all the time(as you should), try to put a stronger spf under your eyes than you do on your face. This way, the skin under your eyes does not darken as quickly as the rest of your face; so your circles seem lighter. If you do this all year, you may end up not needing concealer at all.
    • Try eye exercises. It can rejuvenate your periorbital skin by improving circulation.
    • Many facial makeup products these days contain some level of spf. Read the labels carefully to determine if your makeup is protecting your skin already. Usually, they contain 10-15% spf.

    • Be careful about what type of teabag you use. If you have allergies, a tea bag full of chamomile may cause your eyes to swell.
    • Do not apply ice or extremely cold water directly to the skin around the eyes for more than a few seconds.
    • Exercise caution when using a new cosmetic product or trying a home remedy. If the condition worsens, or if you exhibit other symptoms, discontinue use immediately and contact your primary care physician or dermatologist for severe or persisting symptoms.
    • Consult a physician before considering using any expensive or invasive treatments. Not all Eye Circles are formed equally, and understanding and discussing the root causes of your dark circles with a qualified professional will ensure you don't waste your money.
    • We should all wear sunscreen daily, but if you usually don't apply sunscreen to your face never forget under your eyes. As your skin picks up color, the dark areas seem to fade because they are not getting as tan as the surrounding skin. When you go to the beach apply numerous times during the day. Eventually most using this technique won't need concealer and you are protecting your skin from sun damage.

    Behave in a Foreign Country

    If you've ever been to a foreign country, you will know that fitting in isn't easy. Chances are, they will have a different language, set of customs, monitary unit, and way of life. Here are some things you can do to adjust in a different country.

    Learn about the country. Get a base of knowledge. Where is the country located? What are their traditional foods? These and other questions should be answered. If you know someone who has lived in/been to the country in question, ask them to tell you a bit about the country.

    Attempt basic phrases. If you do not know how to speak their language, it will be hard to master the entire language in a short amount of time. If you have previously taken the language, brush up on it. If you have never spoken the language, buy a dictionary (i.e. an English to French dictionary, not a French to English dictionary). You may want to invest in a computer language program, or a tutor to help you learn key phrases. Remember that you will not have time to learn the entire language so focus on things like; asking for directions, ordering in restaurants, asking and telling time, and money transactions. Learn these phrases along with the basic please, thank you, hello, and goodbye. Remember that with a polite attitude and a smile, your basic language skills will be forgiven.

    Try to meet someone who knows about or has been to the country. If it is a country like France or Spain, you may want to ask a French or Spanish teacher from a local high school. Chances are they will not only know the language very well, but will have spent time there. If it is a less known country, you may be out of luck. In this case, search the Internet and the library. You will be better able to learn from a person, but books can be just as resourceful!

    Have a basic understanding of customs. If you are being tutored in the language, ask your tutor to teach you some of their customs. However, when all else fails, don't point, don't shout, and always say please and thank you. If you do end up in a tangle because of your lack of customs, calmly explain that you are foreign and that it was an accident. Basic English customs are not the same around the world (especially as you get into Asia and Africa) but will provide as a base for most European countries.

    Handle your money well. Money can be confusing, but cover all your bases. Understand the name of the monetary unit (i.e. dollars) and know the names of the coins/bills within the unit (i.e ten-dollar bill, quarters). Do this in your own country before heading off. Exchange your bills a couple of weeks before you go and practice recognizing them. Know the basic conversion (i.e. one pound is about two dollars). Recognize fair prices and know how to make basic money transactions.

    * Be polite and pay attention. As you pick up clues from residents of the country, use them.

    * Never leave your luggage alone.

    * Don't be afraid to ask questions about anything.

    Upgrading template again!

    Wednesday, July 16, 2008

    I can't be content for my template on this blog , so here I go again,trying to find one that make my eyes satisfied. Upgrading it again. I can't help it. I guess I dont have anything to do so I found my self tingkering in my blog.

    How to Be Cool and Asian

    You probably have heard about the stereotype that blondes are the only ones who are cool or popular. Well, this article is here to help make Asian girls be just as awesome just the way they are. (This is not supposed to be racist)

    Make sure you act the part. Cool Asians interact with a lot of people and are good at many things, not just computers or math. Some kids in Maryland have even managed to start their own clubs such as an Asian American Club, the Chinese Club, the Korean Club, etc. Act mature and not ditzy. Act smart but not nerdy. Act cool but don't overdo it or else people will say you're desperate.
    Look the part. Most Asians have either straight black or dark brown hair. If it's not straight, you can use a quality hair straightener if you wish. Some find that curly hair suits them. Also, you don't have to dress head to toe in A&F, Hollister, and American Eagle. A few occasional clothes from those stores will be fine. Putting on mascara and a little eyeshadow or eyeliner with some lip gloss will show off your big eyes and lovely lips! Also, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces would be great accessories.
    Get involved. Asians tend to be musically inclined, meaning that they rock at instruments. This is not always the case but many play the violin, piano, and/or flute. If music isn't your thing, try sports or Student council or something else that you can get involved in.
    Be nice. If you are a jerk, people may think that you're just a jock or whatever. If you're too nice some people may feel you're "uncool" or strange.

    * Having different types of friends will help you discover what kind of person you are.
    * Finally, have confidence in yourself. If you don't think you're cool, no one else will.
    * Always curl your eyelashes with an eyelash curler before you apply mascara. It will make your eyes pop.

    * Don't let being cool get to you.
    * Don't be ashamed of your culture. Remember to have Asian Pride! Be proud of who you are.
    * Don't line your eyes all the way around if you have small eyes. It's just going to make your eyes look smaller.

    Seven Facts About Me

    I got tag from my co-blogger/friend named Bonz

    She got tag by Chris on the meme which she really enjoy answering.

    Here’s the rules:

    1. List these rules on your blog.

    2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

    3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

    You’ll have to read on for my 7 facts and see who I tagged.

    1)I am shopcoholic

    2)Love my kids dearly

    3)I am a Strawberry cheesecake & sea food addict

    4)I am a friendly kind of person

    5)Learning to be a photographer ( may become pro one day, wink, wink)

    6)Crazy about shoes

    7)Most of all wanna meet my b-friend gladys one day.

    Now I will be passing this tag to the following blogger:

    Dabawenya Babe

    Everything that has Breath Praise the Lord

    Bubbles Of Thoughts

    Pinay Mommy Dreamer

    My Life My Story

    Be a Good House Guest

    Tuesday, July 15, 2008

    When visiting the home of another person, whether they're close family, more distant relatives, friends or colleagues, demonstrating your appreciation is important. It could mean the difference between a smooth stay or never being invited again! Here are some general tips on making the stay pleasant for both yourself and your hosts.

    A rrive when you say you will arrive.

    * Be specific with dates. Don't keep your visit open-ended.


    Just arrived, tired but punctual!

    Just arrived, tired but punctual!

    Don't turn up earlier. This is the worst thing you can do as your host may not be ready for you and it could inconvenience them considerably. If, for some unforeseen reason, you caught an earlier connection or you had an extra day's vacation and you'd like to arrive earlier, call them first. If they sound hesitant, tell them that you'd rather leave the plans as originally decided and find something else to do with your extra time. This will also depend on who you're staying with; mom and dad probably won't mind at all but a friend or colleague might be in the middle of work or social arrangements that could be very difficult to change.

    * Equally, don't saunter in the day after you said you'd arrive. This can really upset some hosts, who worry about what might have happened to you or are put out because they may have rearranged their schedules to accommodate you. This fills the air with bad vibes. Again, if you are delayed for any reason, call them and explain. They'll understand, but only if you've given good reasons why.

    Don't overstay your visit. Your hosts are not on vacation like you are, and even though have graciously welcomed you into their home, have probably spent an excess of their time and money with extra food and drink, utilities, rearranging their normal routine and the like.

    Bring a gift to say thank you at the outset. Arriving with something as a way of thanking your hosts in advance is a thoughtful and caring gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of their caring contribution in making your stay a good one. Considerate, inexpensive gifts include: a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a basket of fruit or flowers. If you don't want to carry anything extra, have it delivered just in advance of your arrival.

    Keep your guest area neat. Do not roll your suitcase inside the home. Take care not to soil the carpet or bedspread with oil, salt, or grime from the bottom of your suitcase. If provided, use a suitcase stand. Make your bed before appearing for breakfast. Keep your suitcase and belongings as unobtrusive as possible - especially if the room is visible to your hosts in passing by. Just shutting the door to a messy room is not an option. If you are given a sofa bed in a living area, it is especially important to arise when your hosts do, and accept that others have to live in the house, too. Make up your bed and tuck your suitcase out of the way to keep the common space neat. If you need closet space, always ask permission first.

    Be reasonable about sharing a household bathroom. If the house only has one bathroom, ask when it is convenient for you to use it. If the family is working, going to school, etc., the last thing you want to be doing is getting underfoot. Come to an arrangement as soon as you arrive and be flexible about the use. Consideration is also expected if you are sleeping in a living area near the only bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed. If there are more bathrooms, make sure that you use the one allocated to you and treat the other bathrooms as private.

    * If towels are not placed out for you in the guest room, don't presume that the fancy towels in a shared bathroom are for you. Politely inquire, "What towels would you like me to use?" If you are provided a guest bathroom, still keep it neat and always hang the towels up in an orderly manner.

    Don't keep the hosts up late. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last saw them, or how many exciting stories you have to tell them. Let your hosts get to bed for a decent night's rest. You may be feeling so excited at seeing them that you don't even notice your own exhaustion from traveling, so it will benefit you to go to bed at a reasonable hour, too. Likewise, don't sleep in and make your host family tiptoe around you. The yachting rule is: When the Captain is up, everybody is up.

    Always offer to help at mealtimes. There is nothing more debilitating than having guests who sit around waiting expectantly for all meals. This is when a stay crosses over from being homey to like being in a hotel. It doesn't mean crowding the host out of the kitchen, but it does mean collecting plates, carrying out dishes, offering to wash up or stack the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters, and taking the garbage out. You could even offer to cook a meal or two yourself. If you're not sure what to do, ASK! Even if the host may say "nothing", insist that you do at least one thing. Very few hosts can say no to this offer!

    Offer to make contributions. Even if you're not eating at your host's home, offer to purchase the groceries (after all, you still need their toilet paper!). This is usually the most burdensome additional cost for your hosts. Remember that they have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit. You could either bankroll their next supermarket trip (and it's nice if you accompany them, too) or you could offer to go out and buy things for both yourself and for them (ask them for a list). For longer stays, assisting with the grocery bill is crucial! Remember, you're getting free accommodations! Even for shorter visits such as a weekend, at least offer to take your hosts out for dinner. It should be the restaurant of their choice, although if you suggest it the right way, they'll also be deciding on a restaurant featuring local cuisine that they think will impress you as a visitor.

    Do your own laundry. Don't be embarrassed about asking whether it is okay to do your laundry at your host's place. They understand that after a few days you'll have dirty underwear. Don't make the request sound like you're hoping they might add your laundry to their laundry chores. And never presume that the washing machine or dryer is available; always ask your host when the most convenient time is for you to do your laundry, emphasizing that you don't want to cut into the household's normal routine. If this means spending a weekday morning at the house doing laundry instead of visiting a museum, well, so be it.

    Entertain yourself. Your hosts are offering you their home but not necessarily their time. Let your hosts make it clear whether or not they have the time to take you to places or to spend entire evenings with you. They may have work to finish at home, they may have work during the daytime, or other commitments. Don't presume that you can rely on their generosity to drive you to places or to show you around. Be prepared to catch public transportation and taxis. They'll probably be able to help you find a timetable or the nearest bus depot or subway line. Alternately, rent a car for yourself, especially if you plan on seeing many of the local sights, or if you are more active than your hosts. Your hosts may have already visited the sights many times before, especially if they live in a tourist-destination town.

    Be home on time. Unless you have made a clear arrangement with your hosts that you'll be coming and going as and when you please, give your hosts an idea of when you'll return. If your hosts are providing you with an evening meal, be there at least half an hour before meal time. This gives you time to assist with the meal, help set the table or carry out other household chores. If you're late for a meal, call first and explain. Better yet, if you've been out sightseeing all day, and know that you'll be home late, don't come home hungry, assuming that your host is waiting to feed you. Have dinner while you're out, or bring dinner home with you, (pizza will do!) and bring enough for your hosts. Be extra quiet on arriving back late and if given a key, use it. Then, turn out the lights.

    Be careful about internet and phone usage. If you need to use the internet or phone at your host's home, ask them first if this is okay with them. Ask them if they have dial-up or broadband and if your usage for a certain amount of time will cost anything. If there are costs involved (especially with long-distance calls), offer to leave payment. Better yet, use your cell phone. Regardless of the financial implications, sitting on the internet all night is just plain rude. Be thoughtful and just check your e-mails, your favorite updates and then shut down and return to the conversation. If using your host's computer, don't access any questionable websites that may invite viruses, undesirable email spam or worse (you know what I mean!)

    Leave a thank you gift on your departure. Again, nothing expensive, just a small token of appreciation to show that you appreciated their hospitality. Flowers, a bottle of wine, fresh berries or a hand-written card are nice tokens. Do your homework, and try to choose something that you know they will like.

    Strip your bedclothes on leaving. You're not staying in a hotel and your host has to wash the sheets (and towels) when you leave. Make it easier by removing sheets, pillow cases and any other linens. Place them in a neat pile on the foot of the bed. Better yet, start washing them for your host. After all, they'll have to do it after you leave anyway. You've probably been washing your own clothes during your stay, so you'll be familiar with using the washer and dryer. If you're staying long enough that your sheets require washing during your stay, do them yourself and remake your own bed. Does your host use a housecleaning service? You may even offer to contribute to the cost of cleaning after you leave.

    Leave quietly and thoughtfully. If you have to leave really early in the morning, say your farewells the night before. If you're departing late at night or early in the morning, book your own transportation. Do not expect the host to run you to the airport/bus station unless the host suggests it. If you leave when the hosts are at work or out, make sure you have made prior arrangements to leave the keys somewhere safe and that you're sure how to lock the place up properly. If your host offers to provide your transportation, at least pay for their gas! With gas at around $4.50 (U.S.) a gallon, a good rule of thumb is to give at least $20.00 (U.S.) Offer more if it's a long drive. Remember, it's a round trip drive for your host. It's still no doubt cheaper for you than a shuttle or a taxi, and should not be at your host's expense.

    The Golden Rule: Don't outstay your welcome. A short stay is a pleasant stay and leaves everyone feeling good about each other. As Ben Franklin once said, "Guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days."

    Send a thank you note. Send a small card or an e-card to say thanks when you return home. Yes, it's a lot of thank-you's but it's polite to acknowledge the fact that your hosts opened their home to you, and it keeps the potential open for a repeat stay when the stay is remembered amicably by all.

    * If you have special dietary needs, bring your own food. Offer to take care of your own special dietary needs and be clear about what this means by way of food preparation. Your host may ask for recipes; be diligent in providing these promptly. However, be ready to prepare them yourself. If you couldn't bring the items with you, ask your host where you can purchase them.

    * At times, with certain differences between your lifestyle and your hosts', you may feel like you're treading on tiptoes, but remember, it should be possible to reach a tolerant arrangement for a comfortable stay. Be open, honest and considerate. For instance, if you're a smoker (and especially if your host isn't), please step outside, away from open doors and windows, clean up any dirty ashtrays on the patio, and refrain from putting out and leaving any cigarette butts in the yard. If it becomes clear that your stay is irritating, discuss with your host how you might make things more agreeable for them.

    * Leave any recreational (illegal) drugs at home!

    * Always offer to help in the kitchen. Be sensitive - if it becomes clear when you're asking to help that your host is a one-person-in-the-kitchen cook, leave it alone. (Keep in mind, this is rare!) However, if this is the case, there are other ways you can help out in the house. Offer to take on the table-setting, child-minding, dog-walking or errand-running while dinner is being made. Be lateral in thinking about ways to help. Respect their customs and choices, just as you'd want yours respected in your home.

    * Some hosts are very fastidious about tidiness and cleanliness. Apart from being as tidy as you can be, also be careful about offering to do cleaning for them apart from picking up after yourself, clearing the table or washing the dishes. If you notice (after you've been there a few days) that the floor needs to be swept, or the carpet needs to be vacuumed, offer to do it. Gauge it from what you know of them and be considerate and tactful.

    * Pay attention to the security instructions in your host's home; you don't want to expose them to an insurance liability if you didn't lock up properly. Take good care of any keys that they loan you.

    * Bring your own toiletries! Unless they provide you with new guest soap, or deodorant and shampoo, ask before using theirs. It is not polite. This especially includes cosmetics.

    * Always replace anything you damage. Even if it was an accident, you are responsible and should make it right for your host by fixing the item, replacing the item or leaving a monetary settlement. Doing so shows that you respect another's possessions. Not addressing it can leave long memories of the issue, and it will certainly get around in family or friendship circles.

    * Always keep your personal possessions -- clothes, toys, wallets, etc. -- out of the common areas. The host may not be the neatest person in the world, but he or she will certainly not appreciate seeing your things cluttering up the living room, dining room or kitchen counters.

    * Do not interpret your welcome into someone's home as permission to enter rooms, or look in closets, or intrude into any areas where you haven't been explicitly invited. Respect a host's privacy by erring on the side of caution--even when visiting friends or family.

    * Never, ever, gossip about or criticize your hosts, their homes or family members, especially during your stay. It's disrespectful and rude. You'll only declare yourself an ungrateful guest, unlikely to be invited even by those with whom you gossip.

    * Were you invited by your hosts for this visit, or did you invite yourself? If you have invited yourself, which is most often the case, these steps are paramount to being allowed to return for another visit. Even if your hosts invited you, keep all of these steps in mind and sincerely do them. Remember, you're on vacation, they're not. Make offers to help and follow through. Your actions will be filed away in your hosts' memory banks, and good or bad, will be remembered when you ask to return!

    Overcome Fatigue

    Do you know why you are tired?

    Determine what is causing fatigue by asking yourself:

    * do you sleep late and wake up early?
    * do you eat right?
    * are you depressed or sad?
    * are you doing too much in one day?
    * do you have too many things going on in your life? Too much stress?
    If it is a matter of fixing your daily schedule/routine by having three healthy meals a day or sleeping earlier or exercising, then:

    * try following a desired schedule for a week and see what results come from it.
    * if you don't feel as tired, keep up with the schedule and begin adding one more change either per week or per month.
    However, if things don't change, ask yourself when you feel most tired.
    Are you generally happy, but just tired or are you sad as well?

    * If it is sadness, talk to a friend or family member who you can trust and are close to. This will help you maybe see a different way of looking at things or give you ideas on how to become happy again.
    * If it is depression, then you should talk to a professional who might be able to suggest some changes or give you medicine to help you.

    * Change does not happen immediately.
    * Take it slowly. Don't try to change too many things at the same time, or you risk discouraging yourself.
    * Ask a friend to help you with your changes. Join a gym with a friend, do something active with others, join a club.
    * Share your feelings with someone close to you or start writing in a diary.

    * If making lifestyle changes, such as sleeping and eating better, does not work, see a doctor and tell him or her that you have trouble with fatigue. Various medical conditions can cause fatigue and tiredness, too.

    Stay Healthy in Small Ways

    Small easy things that you can do everyday to stay fit and healthy.

    Drink water in the morning after getting up and right before bed. It hydrates your body and it's really easy to drink a glass when you brush your teeth.
    Stretch a little if you are waiting for a bus or ride in the morning. It gets your blood flowing which wakes you up.
    Take some nice breaths of air when outside, not only does it smell fresh but it feels like it rejuvinates you.
    Eat breakfast. Everyone should but if you can't because of a crazy schedule keep a jar of raisins or other dried fruit within quick reach so if you are in a hurry you can grab a handful and run.
    Throw your shoulders back when you walk. It boosts your confidence which in turn raises your self esteem.
    Weight lift a little with the detergent when doing laundry. Set a goal for a certain number of lifts with a full bottle.
    Channel surf when you're watching television and a commercial break comes on. It means you won't be tempted to go get an unhealthy snack.
    Get in a routine that is healthy because once you're stuck in it you will be able to determine what might not be the best thing for you. It may be a snack offered to you that is full of sugar and preservatives, or cutting corners with work.
    Take more trips. In other words, if you have to bring the two garbage cans to the road make two trips to the curb, instead of one carrying both cans at the same time. A little more walking never hurt. Also, you can park farther away from the store Not only will you not have to fight for a space but parking so far away will result in more walking to and fro.
    Keep yourself clean. Chipped nail polish has never looked good, no one likes body odor, and your ears should not be filled with wax.
    Pace around when you talk on the phone so you are up and walking around. Also, it has been found that it helps you focus on your conversation.
    Bend at your knees and not your waist when you drop something. That's what your knees are there for.
    Have a headache? You do not always need an asparin! There is an easier way to fix your headache. Get rid of a headache by:
    Taking a few deep breaths,
    Closing your eyes,
    Taking your index finger and thumb of your right hand to make a backwards "C" shape, and
    Clamping your fingers near the webbing between your left thumb and pointer.
    (It might be a bit of a discomort, but it releives the headache)

    * If you do have a little more time in your day then going for a walk always makes you feel better, it clears your mind, and keeps you healthy
    * SLEEP and WATER. They will do wonders to your mood, spirit, and those annoying little bags under your eyes.


    Monday, July 14, 2008

    It can be hard to trust someone sometimes, especially when they have done something that broke it and shattered your trust in them.

    Think about whether they were trustworthy at all, in the first place. Have they repeatedly lied to you? Broken or stolen something that you possessed? Are they a best friend of yours? If they have done these things, give them another chance. However, if you have caught them talking about you behind your back, or ignoring your existence, he/she may not be a good friend at all. Read this article for more information.
    Treat others the way you would like to be treated. You wouldn't like it if someone was being mean to you. Rethink your actions. Have you done anything wrong? If so, read this for more information.
    If you are the popular kid, you are probably subject to people who will want to be your friend because they will be friends with the popular person and will probably gain a small percentage of this popularity. See Tips to identify how to see if someone wants to truly be your friend, or just because of your position. Look at the oh-so-messed-up-lives of the stars that everyone used to adore. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, and everyone else. They are so famous, they have so many fans, so much controversy, they have a pretty hard time seeing who they can trust, and who not to trust. Learn how to tell if you can trust somebody.
    * If you can trust them, it will be obviously showing if they care about who you are and your well-being, or just about you, like the popularity scenario.

    * Learn how to tell if someone is lying. If they are, it will show, depending on how much they tell the truth. Real liars will make up the most believable excuses, while beginners will be sweating and looking elsewhere to avoid the tension build-up. Observe the Adam's apple. Often, the Adam's apple will bob up and down (a sign of swallowing, another technique to avoid the tension). Read all about it here.

    * If you detect lies all the time, then you will probably end up without friends. See this to cope with such situations.

    How to Be a Good Roommate

    Have you ever had to share a home with a stranger or even a close friend, only to find out you can't live together? Living with other people is difficult, especially when each person comes from a different background and has their own ideas about how they want to live. Most people at some point must learn to cope with the challenges of having a roommate. The following is a list of suggestions to help you share your living space harmoniously.

    Find a good roommate to begin with. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day to day living compatibility. Compare their daily habits to yours:

    * Are they early risers or night owls?

    * What temperature do they think is comfortable?

    * How much TV do they watch?

    * When should the roommate worry if they are not home at a certain time? Do you wait until morning to make phone calls or do you send for a search team if they're 15 minutes late from work or school?

    * What are their favorite chores? Perhaps if their favorites are your least favorite, you can simply always to your favorite chore and ignore the ones you simply don't like.

    * Do they talk about their feelings are keep their feelings in?

    * Are they extra-sensitive to fragrances and/or odors? This may affect what you choose as cleaning products and you may have to hide your running shoes after going to the gym.

    * Are they allergic to anything? i.e. peanuts, perfume, milk, flour, mold, smoke.

    * Are they sloppy or neat?

    * Do they smoke or do any other kinds of recreational drugs?

    * Do they enjoy talking or do they prefer to be quiet all the time.

    * Do they enjoy decorating or do they not care about decorating. What decorating style do they have.

    * What kind of music do they listen to and, more importantly, do they particularly enjoy listening to it when it's loud?

    Be upfront about your expectations. Set boundaries and stick with them. This applies to food, clothes, possessions, loud activities, use of common areas, parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.

    Respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. That way you are only responsible for your things. You must always ask before "borrowing" anything, no matter if it's trivial. Definitely take good care of any borrowed items.

    Follow through with your obligations. If you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then do it.

    Be prepared to compromise. Not everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. You can't ask your roommate to change himself or herself if you're not willing to change as well.

    What NOT to do

    What NOT to do

    Clean up after yourself. This doesn't mean that you have to be a neat freak, but don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry all over the bedroom, especially if you share it with your roommate. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.

    Be courteous of your roommate’s sleeping habits. If you are a night owl, keep your noise down and turn the lights down after your roommate goes to bed so you don't disturb them. If you go to bed early, don’t get exasperated with your roommate for their late hours, but at the same time try to find ways that you can sleep undisturbed. The same thing applies for rising in the morning.

    Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in his or her life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them. Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, etc. Do something nice for your roommate every so often--make their bed, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.

    Stay flexible. Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and accommodate them. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. Wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?

    Communicate. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try and ignore it and let it get worse. If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time. Find a new roommate. The stress is just not worth it. You may be better friends if you choose to live separate.

    11. Share. Or decide what you will share. Decide what contents in the fridge are ok and which are off limits. Determine whether or not a common phone line will be sufficient if one person spends a lot of time on the phone. If you borrow something, let your roommate know and (if necessary) try to replace it.

    12. Divide responsibilities: If your roommate is a good cook and you are not, have him cook and you do the dishes. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns alternating cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.

    * Some people find it helpful to write up a "roommate agreement," in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules for the apartment and their responsibilities. Have everyone sign a copy and keep it on hand.

    * Control the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it.

    * Inviting your roommate to open social events is polite.

    * One possible cooking / cleaning arrangement: Make a standing rule that if you cook for everybody, you also have to do the dishes. That may sound counter-intuitive, but it can work. It solves the problem of one person making a big meal, but then the dishes never getting cleaned.

    * Don't make your rules too rigid. Life is short, so sometimes you should decide that you just don't care. Dirty windows never hurt anyone. A broken plate is just not something to ruin a friendship over.

    * Although you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate walk on you. Be assertive about what you want.

    * Don’t nag. This is a surefire way to get your roommate irritated.

    * Don’t yell or scream at your roommate. If this is a friend, it could ruin the friendship. Remember, most people do not love unconditionally and won’t react kindly to fits of rage or anger, and it will probably hinder your cause rather than help it.

    * If your roommate disregards your pleas for privacy or cleanliness, or otherwise continuously disrespects you, you should probably try to find another roommate. Remember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have.

    * Be careful about lending money. Small amounts aren't usually a problem, but don't let it get out of hand.

    Be Faithful in a Marriage

    Saturday, July 12, 2008

    You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment of your life. But statistics show that in the US, almost half of all marriages end in divorce, and one of the leading causes is marital infidelity. Whether you're married or a partner in a committed marital relationship, being faithful isn't always easy - but if you commit to being a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.

    Agree upon trusting one another. Once you have taken your vows, believe that overt possessiveness is no longer a "cute" trait that your spouse appreciates - you have both taken vows to be faithful. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion, jealousy and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these, it spells trouble for the relationship, because the spouse being constantly accused or suspected becomes weary of fighting. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more "bank" you will build as time goes on.

    Accept the fact that you are no longer single. No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much insure that you will be again - soon. Instead, in keeping with the previous step, set some boundaries and abide by them. Examples:

    * When you go your separate ways for the day, agree when you will meet back at home, or wherever. If you agree upon 6pm, then be there at that time. If you realize you will be late, call as soon as you know - definitely do not leave your spouse wondering for more than 30 minutes - it worries him or her needlessly.

    * If it rubs you the wrong way to specify a time at which you will come home, or if you simply don't know in advance (perhaps you are in a business, such as a musician, which has recording sessions and you aren't sure how long it will last, etc.), then try arranging to call your spouse when you're getting on your way home. This way, the waiting spouse assumes you are at your appointment until s/he hears from you, and knows about how long it should be from that point until you arrive home.

    Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash. It's simply a matter of wanting to know when to begin worrying, and where to put the cops on the trail should you not arrive home when expected. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you should not have gotten married.

    Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any. Doing things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. A lot of insecure people actually go out of their way to make their spouse jealous in order to feel better about themselves. The problem is that it creates a climate of anxiety and turbulence, and it's controlling and manipulative. Don't pick fights just to see what s/he'll say or do, and certainly don't go telling your spouse all about the new hottie at work just to make your spouse jealous.

    Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing. If you meet someone who comes on to you, or that you're attracted to (and you will), don't panic - but don't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of adultery is near. Don't be alone with this person, and don't go out of your way to see him or her.

    Take your spouse with you. If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid this person, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.

    Tell the other person you are not interested, period. Don't give a half-hearted, "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married." This sends a wrong message - it says, "If only my stupid wife/husband weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up." Any sleaze who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if s/he thinks you're at all interested. Watch "Gone With the Wind" to see a perfect example of how a wishy-washy attempt to let a girl down easy ends up wasting years of her life. Whether you are attracted to this person or not is not material. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope.

    Leave the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the kibosh on this person's interest in you, and worse yet, if you return those feelings, you have to leave the situation immediately. Either request a transfer, request that the other person be transferred, or if neither is possible, tell your boss: "I love my job, but Kendra comes on to me every day. I think she's great, but I'm married and committed to my wife. I can no longer work with Kendra, because it's endangering my marriage, so unless she goes, I have to give my notice." This is just in case your boss likes you better than Kendra, and would rather lose her than you. The risk, though, is, your boss may accept your notice and if so, you should start looking for a new job. Don't go moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that.

    * Wear your wedding ring at all times. This sends a clear signal to others (and reminds you) that you're "taken" and most people will know better than to trespass. But if they fail to heed the sign, show it to them and be sure they know it means you really are married and are not interested in flirting. At all.

    * Don't berate yourself for being alive! You and your beloved may want to believe in the romantic notion that there will only ever be you for him and him for you, etc. It's just not true. You're married - you're not dead. You will both see people who arouse your interest, in sexual ways. You will meet people who are so attractive to you that you are tempted to just try one little kiss. Don't fool yourself. One kiss leads to another, and before you know it, you're headed for divorce court. It's only human to feel interest and attraction for other people. But you have an obligation to remove yourself from those situations when you can no longer control your - or their - responses to it.

    * Share your celebri-crushes with your spouse. If there's someone on TV you think is sexy, tell her. Ask who she likes, and just make a little game of it. Don't hide your responses. **NOTE: see warnings below.

    * Don't get angry if you realize that someone else finds your spouse attractive. You find him attractive, don't you? Of course you do! He's a sexy, hot guy! Take pleasure in the fact that he's coming home with you - not her. Or him. Whatever.

    * Remember that your behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust and belief in one another, and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of her trust today, in ten years when someone accuses you of something, she'll dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray her because of your history together

    Avoid this things:

    * Jealousy and suspicion will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them. The best way to avoid them is to avoid getting into situations that create them.

    * That cute girl/boy at work who flirts with you may not ring your chimes at all. But don't set off your wife's/husband's alarm bells needlessly - s/he doesn't need to know that you think this girl/boy is cute. Especially if you know there will be no hanky panky. Don't talk about the other attractive people at work to your spouse - it will breed worry and anxiety at home. It's one thing to share your "celebrity-crush" with your wife/husband. It's quite another to tell her there's a cute chick/hot hunk at work who's constantly hitting on you. Even if you tell her/him immediately that there's nothing to worry about, s/he will worry. S/he will foster feelings of hate toward that cute chick/hot hunk. And if there is ever any compromising situation that arises, you will be sleeping at your brother's house. Or worse.

    * The bottom line: Drama does not serve marriage well. Every time you stir up trouble with your spouse, you're creating a Trouble Account. When what's in the Trouble Account adds up to more than what's in the Trust and Respect Account, your marriage is in the sh*t.

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