It's one of life's eternal questions: Why do people fall in love?Isn't a mystery.
Wouldn't it be great if there really was such a thing as a love potion? Take a few sips, and magically, potential dates appear everywhere. Without a true love potion, we're resigned to attracting future mates with nothing but our own charming personalities--and perhaps a few pointers from self-help books, late-night infomercials, and reality TV shows.
Can those things even work? What makes one person fall for another? And can we change ourselves to alter the number of people who are attracted to us? According to experts, attraction is full sensory experience. It's not just enough to look or talk a certain way; to attract a potential mate, you must electrify all five senses. Here are some of the clues that have been identified.
Perhaps the most obvious component of attraction, being visually attracted to someone involves more than just their appearance.When people are already in loving, committed relationships, they find attractive members of the opposite sex less appealing than those who are not in relationships. Study subjects who had recently thought about their partners were also less likely to remember attractive physical characteristics of other people.
Visual cues can be helpful during flirtation as well.55 percent of our impression of another person is formed by their body language. Certain movements are perceived favorably by others. Mirroring, or subtly mimicking the other person's gestures, is an effective way to make people feel that they can trust you.
38 percent of our impressions come from the tone, speed, and inflection of the other person's voice. What they're actually saying accounts for only 7 percent. Laughing or giggling is often another way of conveying positive emotions toward another person.We often laugh at mundane statements that are not funny. Laughter is a social tool that evolved before humans could speak, they speculate, so even modern humans feel bonded by laughter.
Perhaps our attraction to someone with a pleasant voice is connected to their physical appearance, as well. People who were rated to have "attractive" voices were also more likely to be physically good-looking.
Although the allure of scent is not quite as dramatic as cologne and deodorant commercials would like you to believe, chemicals known as pheromones play a role in attraction. The scent of pheromones that are given off by an ovulating woman (when she is typically most fertile) is more attractive to men. Women, however, look for a different type of scent. Women who smelled men's unwashed T-shirts preferred the odor of men who had immune systems that were different from their own, suggesting that women favor a mate who is biologically dissimilar enough to have healthy children.
Although these scents cannot be controlled, other exterior odors can trigger more intimacy.The combination of lavender and pumpkin pie had the greatest impact on men's sexual arousal. The combos of doughnut/black licorice and pumpkin pie/doughnut also had an evident effect.
When flirting, women are likely to tilt their heads in a way that reveals their neck, an erogenous zone that is highly sensitive to touch. In addition, flirtatious women would "accidentally" brush up against a man they were interested in or gently tap his forearm.
Just these acts of flirtation and touching can make someone appear more attractive.
Some scientist speculate that taste is part of the reason we kiss.Remember those pheromones? Kissing is a way of "tasting" the other person's pheromones to determine if they are sexually compatible, according to A.G. Singer's study, A Chemistry of Mammalian Pheromones.
In addition, preferring the same taste, literally, of foods can make you feel a closer bond with another person. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that when people who were given a sample of ice cream compared likes and dislikes afterward, the tasters who enjoyed the sample were more likely to say they could trust the recommendations of the others who were fond of it, but those who disliked the ice cream didn't think others who also disliked it could give good recommendations.
Laws Of Attraction
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Posted by Jane at 2:03 PM
For many parents, leaving their children with a babysitter for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience. After all, most of us have heard a few harrowing stories about shaken babies, sitter abuse, or neglectful nannies.
But while such concerns are valid, cases like these represent only a small fraction of babysitter problems. The more common danger, is unintentional injury due to a lack of information about the kinds of problems that can arise and what to do in case of an emergency.
Sitter Safety 101
Although no one can care for your child the way that you do, there are steps you can take to ensure safety while you're away from home. To begin, choose your sitter wisely. Ask family and friends for their recommendations, and check each candidate's references carefully.
In addition, only hire babysitters who are 13 or older, as younger pre-teens may not have the judgment or maturity to handle emergencies.You should ask whether they've taken the American Red Cross Babysitter Class and, if not, encourage them to enroll.
Rather than simply leaving your child alone with a sitter the first time, consider hiring the potential candidate as a mother's or father's helper. This way, you can see how the sitter performs first, get feedback from your child, and determine whether it's a good match.
Once you've found a babysitter both you and your child feel comfortable with, it's important that you provide the information they'll need in case of an emergency.
You and your spouse's full names.
Contact information where you can be reached, as well as your cell phone number.
Your child's full name, age, date of birth, height, weight, hair color, and eye color (in case the sitter and child get separated).
The phone number and address of your house, as well as directions to it.
The name and phone number of your family doctor or pediatrician.
Emergency-services numbers and the poison-control hotline number.
Location of all the exits in your house.
Location of first-aid supplies, as well as the fire extinguisher, fuse box, and flashlights.
Contact information for neighbors, friends, and family.
Special medical information, especially regarding food and drug allergies.
The time at which you can be expected home.
Your child's bedtime and bedtime routine (if your child is a baby, tell the sitter to place the child on his or her back to sleep, not on the side or stomach).
Any foods or drinks that should, or should not, be given to your child.
Any medications that should, or should not, be given to your child.
How your child should be handled if he or she misbehaves.
How to calm your child if he or she is upset (if your child is a baby, tell the sitter never to shake the child under any circumstances).
Other special instructions regarding the child, family pets, etc.
Do's & Don't
Do learn first aid and CPR.
Do keep the doors locked, even while you're outside.
Do call 911 if someone suspicious comes to the door.
Do be on the lookout for potentially dangerous items around the home.
Do keep matches, lighters, and candles away from the child at all times.
Do turn on outside lights in the evening.
Do be familiar with basic food safety, including choking and food-poisoning safety guidelines.
Don't leave the house with the child unless you have permission.
Don't talk for long periods on the phone.
Don't open the door to strangers, including delivery people.
Don't ever tell a stranger, even on the phone, that you are the babysitter.
Don't stay anywhere you feel unsafe, smell smoke, or hear a fire or smoke alarm.
Don't go outside to check on something strange, such as an unusual noise.
Don't ever leave the child alone in the bathtub, not even for a second.
Posted by Jane at 1:30 PM