Stop Being Bossy

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Do you find yourself being too overbearing? Does no one want to be your partner in work or school projects because you tend to dominate everything? The following steps will help you get to the core of why you're so bossy in the first place, and how you can break the habit.

Let go of perfectionism. Sometimes we're bossy because we want things done right, and there's nothing wrong with striving for a job well done, is there? The thing is, there's more than one way to achieve a good result, and just because your way is the most efficient way to get from Point A to Point B doesn't mean it's the best way. By assuming your way is the best way, you lock out the creativity of others, and you also chip away at morale. Both of these things are limiting factors in the long run, and that's not a good result. Be patient. When you're used to being in the role of leader (or dictator or tyrant, in the eyes of others) it can be excruciating to step aside and wait for someone else to step up, and even more torturous to watch them fumble at a task that you can accomplish so quickly and easily. But what's the rush? Will it really be the end of the world if things don't go as smoothly as planned? Relax. Take a deep breath. Wait.

Invest in people. Many bossy people focus their attention on incompetence, and they fail to notice potential and progress. Try to be more alert to people's individual talents. Give positive feedback. Lots of it. Don't just see people as tools, as a means to an end, as machines. In order for people to think for themselves, they need to learn, and in order to learn, sometimes we need to make mistakes. Trust them, and give them a fair margin of error. Let them know that you're there to help, but don't watch over their shoulders or take over their tasks. Improve your communication skills. Many times it's not what you say that comes off as bossy, it's how you say it. Your tone and phrasing can make a person feel like an incompetent cog in a machine, or it can make them feel like you're inviting them to reach a worthwhile goal with you. Learn How to Practice Nonviolent Communication and How to Give a Feedback Sandwich.

Strive for consensus. Nothing fosters team-building like consensus-building. Even though it's more time-consuming than democratic voting (i.e. majority rules), the consensus process is more likely to result in all parties reaching common ground. You can be a facilitator, ensuring that everyone's opinion is heard, and that a decision is made that is satisfactory to everyone involved. Ask for honest feedback. Explain to people that you know you can come off as bossy or domineering sometimes, and you'd like to change your style. Ask them to let you know when you're coming off as bossy, whether by pulling you aside, or even by sending you an anonymous note or e-mail. Be humble and request their help.

Being bossy does not necessarily make you a good boss. Following the steps in How to Be a Good Boss does.In some cases, when you stop being bossy, you may find that people who once seemed to like you no longer do so. This is not because you are in any way less appealing, but simply because you do not frighten them any more. Give up bossiness at your own risk.


Welcome Message

Hey there fellow bloggers ! I would like to welcome you here in my blog. Please relax and sit back while browsing .Make a comment, & suggestion. For exchanging links... let me know or leave me a message on my message box. Thank's for dropping by, I appreciate it and hope you come back again soon.

Message Box

ShoutMix chat widget

Disclosure Policy

This policy is valid from 01 December 2009 This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation. This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content. The owner(s) of this blog is compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner(s) of this blog receives compensation for our posts or advertisements, we always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question. This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest. To get your own policy, go to

Blog Archieve