Things You Don’t Know About Your Guy

Just when you thought you had men figured out, here are six undisclosed truths you never knew. Your guy isn’t intentionally keeping secrets. He’s just more likely to abide by the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Find out how understanding – and accepting – these “secrets” can strengthen your relationship. Plus: Take our quiz to find out if he’s your soul mate…

He doesn’t like all of your friends
Chances are he likes your self-involved, basket-case girlfriend about as much as you like his beer-chugging womanizer buddy. He probably wonders why you hold onto the friendship, and he might even wish you’d end it. After all, he’s the one you vent to about her. But he’s not going to open Pandora’s box by telling you his true feelings.

Lesson learned: He doesn’t have to like all your friends. He just has to be civil to them for your sake, unless, of course, those friends are trying to sabotage your relationship.

Next time you feel the urge to gripe about your friends to your guy, remember that he’s filing away everything you say – and he may not be able to forget and forgive as easily as you do.

He checks out other girls
If your guy denies noticing the cute waitress at the café, he’s probably just sugarcoating the truth to avoid an argument with you. Men like to look at beautiful women – just as women like to admire handsome men.

But that doesn’t mean he’s envisioning a life or even a steamy interlude with the waitress.

Nor does it mean he’s comparing her to you. Odds are he simply appreciates her beauty, just as you appreciate the great grin of that Brad Pitt look-a-like you always bump into at the fax machine.

Lesson learned: As long as he’s not blatantly ogling girls or flirting in front of you, don’t worry! You’re the one he loves. Avoid the urge to blurt out the dreaded, “Do you think she’s prettier than me?” He’ll find self-confidence much sexier than insecurity.

He gets hit on
Women probably flirt with your man. In fact, some may have crushes on him, whether he knows it or not, or tells you about it.

Sure, tall, dark and handsome men get hit on more often, but even bald guys with beer bellies can be cute. (If you find him attractive, other women do, too.)

He probably doesn’t tell you when it happens because he doesn’t want you to worry or overreact. Do you tell him every time a man hits on you?

Lesson learned: Remember your guy wants to be with you. As long as he’s not the one doing the flirting, it’s fine for him to be flattered when he gets attention from other women.

You should be flattered, too – after all, it proves you’ve got good taste in men!

He wants to get married, eventually
Ball-and-chain jokes aside, most guys do want to get hitched… when the time is right.

The idea that all men want to be life-long bachelors is simply untrue. Most of them like the idea of spending the rest of their life with one good woman.

The catch is that they also want to sow their wild oats and enjoy the single life first. Men typically want to establish themselves both financially and career-wise, want kids when they’re older and want to own a house by the time they get married.

Lesson learned: If your guy isn’t ready for marriage and you just can’t wait any longer, move on. He might not be in the place he needs to be right now, or unfortunately, you may just not be his Mrs. Right.

And if you’re already married to him, don’t assume he’s secretly pining for the bachelor life he left behind whenever times get tough. Love, fulfillment and security trump lonely nights and an empty fridge – even for guys.

He lets himself go when you do
He’ll probably never tell you, but your guy doesn’t adore you regardless of how you look, especially when it comes to weight gain (except pregnancy) or letting your appearance slip. If you stop hitting the gym, trade those short skirts that won his heart for frumpy sweats, or no longer bother to style your hair, he’ll still love you, but odds are he’ll long for the old you.

He might even wonder if you’ve stopped caring about him if you stop caring about how you look when he’s with you. Ask if he thinks you look fat, he’ll lie to avoid hurting you, though he may let you know in more subtle ways. Remember, the way you looked when he fell in love with you is the way he wants you to stay forever.

Lesson learned: Never take for granted the importance of physical attraction in your relationship. Look good for your guy, and you’ll feel better about yourself. And more self-confidence means you’ll have a happier and sexier relationship. He’ll probably work harder to keep himself fit and attractive for you, too.
He takes it personally when you nag…
Finding fault with people – especially our loved ones – is easy. So is getting into the habit of mercilessly criticizing your partner.

While your guy may joke about your nagging to his friends, he’s not finding it funny on the inside. You might think you’re offering gentle reminders or that you’re being justifiably critical, but the more you nag, the more he’ll tune you out because he’s genuinely hurt.

Pointing the finger at someone else is easier than dealing with your own issues. But never being at fault can be tiresome to a husband who isn’t always to blame either.
Lesson learned: Stop this vicious cycle by treating your boyfriend or hubby as an equal.

And remember, for the most part you knew the man you married when you got hitched; it’s unfair to now criticize him for being the man you chose to marry.

Is He Your Soulmate?
The term "soulmate" often conjures visions of mystic astrological card readings and destiny. But you don't have to believe in anything offbeat to have a soulmate. Your soulmate is someone who lights the fire inside you and whom you love unequivocally. Does your guy make the grade or are you settling? Take this soulmatequiz to find out.