Tips About How to get Over a Heart break

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.
Do not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he or she would be right now and if you should visit. Don't try to talk to him or her about the break up. Don't make yourself think negatively about yourself or your judgment, or anything else that will make you doubt your decisions or yourself.
Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another - stop.

As trite as it may sound, this one bears repeating: find something constructive to do - something that will hold your attention and require you to focus and get interested. Once you've spent a few days (or weeks) indulging the grief, it's time to take a class or maybe join a book group. Find something that gets you out of the house and out of your circular thought process and involves your brain or your creative side. Sometimes you've forgotten who you were before you hooked up with the person you're so sad about now, and you need to wake yourself up a bit and remember that you used to have fun doing things you've forgotten about since then. You've got a brain, go use it for something besides re-running old memories!

Remember those old catch phrases: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", "Everything happens for a reason", "There are other fish in the sea" and likewise. When you go through a break up or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding true happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include marriage or romantic relationships... and that is okay, no matter what you do in life.
As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.

If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself if you really want that person back? Will you ever trust them not to break your heart again? Sometimes you just want the person you thought your ex would be, not what s/he actually was.
Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. So what better way to survive this than to not give yourself any more reason to feel ashamed, but instead feel pride in yourself - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.

Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Eventually, though, you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.
It's a good time to try something new. Try a new hobby, a style, a sport. It'll keep you going and moving on.

If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's myspace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the firefox extension, blocksite, which allows you to block the URL to their profile.

Go to a party to blow off some steam and maybe meet someone new, but beware, some of the biggest regrets happen with rebounds and alcohol.
Go and talk to and hang out with older friends that have dealt with it before.

Do not let yourself be caught up with hatred for your ex. If it is best that you split up, do not upset yourself further. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, and you will be friends in the future if that's meant to be. Hating is pointless and will prolong pain and stress for both of you.

Your partner has a right to choose to be or not to be with you. Respect their decision. If your partner digs at you again, do behave with dignity, because probably they are not worthy of your true love.


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