Trust

It can be hard to trust someone sometimes, especially when they have done something that broke it and shattered your trust in them.

Think about whether they were trustworthy at all, in the first place. Have they repeatedly lied to you? Broken or stolen something that you possessed? Are they a best friend of yours? If they have done these things, give them another chance. However, if you have caught them talking about you behind your back, or ignoring your existence, he/she may not be a good friend at all. Read this article for more information.
Treat others the way you would like to be treated. You wouldn't like it if someone was being mean to you. Rethink your actions. Have you done anything wrong? If so, read this for more information.
If you are the popular kid, you are probably subject to people who will want to be your friend because they will be friends with the popular person and will probably gain a small percentage of this popularity. See Tips to identify how to see if someone wants to truly be your friend, or just because of your position. Look at the oh-so-messed-up-lives of the stars that everyone used to adore. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, and everyone else. They are so famous, they have so many fans, so much controversy, they have a pretty hard time seeing who they can trust, and who not to trust. Learn how to tell if you can trust somebody.
* If you can trust them, it will be obviously showing if they care about who you are and your well-being, or just about you, like the popularity scenario.

* Learn how to tell if someone is lying. If they are, it will show, depending on how much they tell the truth. Real liars will make up the most believable excuses, while beginners will be sweating and looking elsewhere to avoid the tension build-up. Observe the Adam's apple. Often, the Adam's apple will bob up and down (a sign of swallowing, another technique to avoid the tension). Read all about it here.

* If you detect lies all the time, then you will probably end up without friends. See this to cope with such situations.

How to Be a Good Roommate

Have you ever had to share a home with a stranger or even a close friend, only to find out you can't live together? Living with other people is difficult, especially when each person comes from a different background and has their own ideas about how they want to live. Most people at some point must learn to cope with the challenges of having a roommate. The following is a list of suggestions to help you share your living space harmoniously.



Find a good roommate to begin with. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day to day living compatibility. Compare their daily habits to yours:

* Are they early risers or night owls?

* What temperature do they think is comfortable?

* How much TV do they watch?

* When should the roommate worry if they are not home at a certain time? Do you wait until morning to make phone calls or do you send for a search team if they're 15 minutes late from work or school?

* What are their favorite chores? Perhaps if their favorites are your least favorite, you can simply always to your favorite chore and ignore the ones you simply don't like.

* Do they talk about their feelings are keep their feelings in?

* Are they extra-sensitive to fragrances and/or odors? This may affect what you choose as cleaning products and you may have to hide your running shoes after going to the gym.

* Are they allergic to anything? i.e. peanuts, perfume, milk, flour, mold, smoke.

* Are they sloppy or neat?

* Do they smoke or do any other kinds of recreational drugs?

* Do they enjoy talking or do they prefer to be quiet all the time.

* Do they enjoy decorating or do they not care about decorating. What decorating style do they have.

* What kind of music do they listen to and, more importantly, do they particularly enjoy listening to it when it's loud?

Be upfront about your expectations. Set boundaries and stick with them. This applies to food, clothes, possessions, loud activities, use of common areas, parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.

Respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. That way you are only responsible for your things. You must always ask before "borrowing" anything, no matter if it's trivial. Definitely take good care of any borrowed items.

Follow through with your obligations. If you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then do it.

Be prepared to compromise. Not everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. You can't ask your roommate to change himself or herself if you're not willing to change as well.



What NOT to do

What NOT to do

Clean up after yourself. This doesn't mean that you have to be a neat freak, but don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry all over the bedroom, especially if you share it with your roommate. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.

Be courteous of your roommate’s sleeping habits. If you are a night owl, keep your noise down and turn the lights down after your roommate goes to bed so you don't disturb them. If you go to bed early, don’t get exasperated with your roommate for their late hours, but at the same time try to find ways that you can sleep undisturbed. The same thing applies for rising in the morning.

Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in his or her life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them. Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, etc. Do something nice for your roommate every so often--make their bed, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.

Stay flexible. Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and accommodate them. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. Wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?

Communicate. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try and ignore it and let it get worse. If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time. Find a new roommate. The stress is just not worth it. You may be better friends if you choose to live separate.

11. Share. Or decide what you will share. Decide what contents in the fridge are ok and which are off limits. Determine whether or not a common phone line will be sufficient if one person spends a lot of time on the phone. If you borrow something, let your roommate know and (if necessary) try to replace it.

12. Divide responsibilities: If your roommate is a good cook and you are not, have him cook and you do the dishes. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns alternating cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, etc.



* Some people find it helpful to write up a "roommate agreement," in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules for the apartment and their responsibilities. Have everyone sign a copy and keep it on hand.

* Control the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it.

* Inviting your roommate to open social events is polite.

* One possible cooking / cleaning arrangement: Make a standing rule that if you cook for everybody, you also have to do the dishes. That may sound counter-intuitive, but it can work. It solves the problem of one person making a big meal, but then the dishes never getting cleaned.

* Don't make your rules too rigid. Life is short, so sometimes you should decide that you just don't care. Dirty windows never hurt anyone. A broken plate is just not something to ruin a friendship over.



* Although you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate walk on you. Be assertive about what you want.

* Don’t nag. This is a surefire way to get your roommate irritated.

* Don’t yell or scream at your roommate. If this is a friend, it could ruin the friendship. Remember, most people do not love unconditionally and won’t react kindly to fits of rage or anger, and it will probably hinder your cause rather than help it.

* If your roommate disregards your pleas for privacy or cleanliness, or otherwise continuously disrespects you, you should probably try to find another roommate. Remember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have.

* Be careful about lending money. Small amounts aren't usually a problem, but don't let it get out of hand.

Be Faithful in a Marriage

You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment of your life. But statistics show that in the US, almost half of all marriages end in divorce, and one of the leading causes is marital infidelity. Whether you're married or a partner in a committed marital relationship, being faithful isn't always easy - but if you commit to being a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.



Agree upon trusting one another. Once you have taken your vows, believe that overt possessiveness is no longer a "cute" trait that your spouse appreciates - you have both taken vows to be faithful. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion, jealousy and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these, it spells trouble for the relationship, because the spouse being constantly accused or suspected becomes weary of fighting. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust, and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more "bank" you will build as time goes on.

Accept the fact that you are no longer single. No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now, and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much insure that you will be again - soon. Instead, in keeping with the previous step, set some boundaries and abide by them. Examples:



* When you go your separate ways for the day, agree when you will meet back at home, or wherever. If you agree upon 6pm, then be there at that time. If you realize you will be late, call as soon as you know - definitely do not leave your spouse wondering for more than 30 minutes - it worries him or her needlessly.

* If it rubs you the wrong way to specify a time at which you will come home, or if you simply don't know in advance (perhaps you are in a business, such as a musician, which has recording sessions and you aren't sure how long it will last, etc.), then try arranging to call your spouse when you're getting on your way home. This way, the waiting spouse assumes you are at your appointment until s/he hears from you, and knows about how long it should be from that point until you arrive home.

Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash. It's simply a matter of wanting to know when to begin worrying, and where to put the cops on the trail should you not arrive home when expected. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you should not have gotten married.

Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any. Doing things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. A lot of insecure people actually go out of their way to make their spouse jealous in order to feel better about themselves. The problem is that it creates a climate of anxiety and turbulence, and it's controlling and manipulative. Don't pick fights just to see what s/he'll say or do, and certainly don't go telling your spouse all about the new hottie at work just to make your spouse jealous.

Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing. If you meet someone who comes on to you, or that you're attracted to (and you will), don't panic - but don't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of adultery is near. Don't be alone with this person, and don't go out of your way to see him or her.

Take your spouse with you. If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid this person, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line, and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.

Tell the other person you are not interested, period. Don't give a half-hearted, "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married." This sends a wrong message - it says, "If only my stupid wife/husband weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up." Any sleaze who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if s/he thinks you're at all interested. Watch "Gone With the Wind" to see a perfect example of how a wishy-washy attempt to let a girl down easy ends up wasting years of her life. Whether you are attracted to this person or not is not material. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope.

Leave the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the kibosh on this person's interest in you, and worse yet, if you return those feelings, you have to leave the situation immediately. Either request a transfer, request that the other person be transferred, or if neither is possible, tell your boss: "I love my job, but Kendra comes on to me every day. I think she's great, but I'm married and committed to my wife. I can no longer work with Kendra, because it's endangering my marriage, so unless she goes, I have to give my notice." This is just in case your boss likes you better than Kendra, and would rather lose her than you. The risk, though, is, your boss may accept your notice and if so, you should start looking for a new job. Don't go moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary, and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that.



* Wear your wedding ring at all times. This sends a clear signal to others (and reminds you) that you're "taken" and most people will know better than to trespass. But if they fail to heed the sign, show it to them and be sure they know it means you really are married and are not interested in flirting. At all.

* Don't berate yourself for being alive! You and your beloved may want to believe in the romantic notion that there will only ever be you for him and him for you, etc. It's just not true. You're married - you're not dead. You will both see people who arouse your interest, in sexual ways. You will meet people who are so attractive to you that you are tempted to just try one little kiss. Don't fool yourself. One kiss leads to another, and before you know it, you're headed for divorce court. It's only human to feel interest and attraction for other people. But you have an obligation to remove yourself from those situations when you can no longer control your - or their - responses to it.

* Share your celebri-crushes with your spouse. If there's someone on TV you think is sexy, tell her. Ask who she likes, and just make a little game of it. Don't hide your responses. **NOTE: see warnings below.

* Don't get angry if you realize that someone else finds your spouse attractive. You find him attractive, don't you? Of course you do! He's a sexy, hot guy! Take pleasure in the fact that he's coming home with you - not her. Or him. Whatever.

* Remember that your behavior early on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust and belief in one another, and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times. If you prove yourself worthy of her trust today, in ten years when someone accuses you of something, she'll dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray her because of your history together

Avoid this things:

* Jealousy and suspicion will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them. The best way to avoid them is to avoid getting into situations that create them.

* That cute girl/boy at work who flirts with you may not ring your chimes at all. But don't set off your wife's/husband's alarm bells needlessly - s/he doesn't need to know that you think this girl/boy is cute. Especially if you know there will be no hanky panky. Don't talk about the other attractive people at work to your spouse - it will breed worry and anxiety at home. It's one thing to share your "celebrity-crush" with your wife/husband. It's quite another to tell her there's a cute chick/hot hunk at work who's constantly hitting on you. Even if you tell her/him immediately that there's nothing to worry about, s/he will worry. S/he will foster feelings of hate toward that cute chick/hot hunk. And if there is ever any compromising situation that arises, you will be sleeping at your brother's house. Or worse.

* The bottom line: Drama does not serve marriage well. Every time you stir up trouble with your spouse, you're creating a Trouble Account. When what's in the Trouble Account adds up to more than what's in the Trust and Respect Account, your marriage is in the sh*t.

Top 7 U.S. Watering Holes

Most cities can claim plenty of bars, liquor stores, and hard-partying residents. But according to government data, some metropolitan areas do a lot more drinking than others. Which cities are the most sloshed? The answers might surprise you (several towns known for their nightlife, like Miami and New Orleans, didn't even make our list.

These metros consume more than their fair share of alcohol—if Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) data on drinking habits are any indication. We also factored in the U.S. Department of Transportation's numbers on fatal car crashes, CDC data on alcohol-related liver disease deaths, and FBI reports on DUI arrests in each city.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin: They don't call it Brew City for nothing. This longtime home of the Miller Brewing Company has more regular and binge drinkers per capita than any other U.S. metro, according to the CDC. In addition, an estimated 7.5 percent of Milwaukeeans are "heavy drinkers" (men who consume more than two alcoholic beverages a day and women who consume more than one).

Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota: In the City of Lakes, alcohol apparently flows almost as freely as the water. Minneapolis's binge-drinking rates are second only to Milwaukee's, it ranks third for heavy drinking, and the area's alcoholism rates are the fourth highest in the nation.

Columbus, Ohio: Given its reputation as a hard-partying college town, the sobering truth may come as no surprise: Columbus ranks second for heavy drinking, fifth for binge drinking, and sixth for alcoholism. Sadly, despite several new laws designed to crack down on drunk driving, the city's levels of alcohol-related accidents have remained high.

How to Avoid Deadbeat Men

Follow this simple step by step guide to avoid ending up with a deadbeat man.



Know yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy yourself.

Love yourself before expecting someone else to love you.

Don't fall for him. If you meet the guy and you feel the fireworks and that "burnin' desire", ignore it. If he is really into you, he will call you again and again and again. Otherwise, he's just salty that he spent money and didn't get any.

Get to know yourself and think about what you really want out of a man, what compliments you, how you want to be treated and demand that respect. Don't create the list of the impossible, but do set standards for yourself. Don't settle.

Use protection. You don't want an unwanted child -- .he won't stay with you just because you have a child, and you should not expect him to.

Don't commit to him if he doesn't commit to you.





* Don't meet men in a bar or club. Your best bet would be to meet someone where you can clearly see that you both share similar interests (School, library, poetry sets, concerts, etc.)

* Make sure that he is on your level. He doesn't have to be the perfect 6 figure executive, but if you graduated college make sure he did or is going to as well.

* Try to stick to your age or a bit older.

* Always make yourself clear about what you are looking for. Don't be let down if he's not looking for the same thing, and don't settle for what he wants. If you want a relationship and he doesn't, why are you still doing going out with him? Wasting your time much? Yup! And if he is looking for a relationship and you aren't, you may just be setting yourself up for a stalker situation...not good!





* Don't try to turn the potential deadbeat into a good man.