Do not go on a Date

* Do not go on any dates with the person from whom you are trying to heal. This is not productive and will not lead to healing. There is no more closure. There is only healing.
* When trying to heal do not accept phone calls and exchange flirty emails with the former object of your desire. This is also not productive and will only prolong the healing process.
* You are not healing from the broken heart your sweetie caused, to become more attractive to that person or to win that person back. When you catch yourself in this thought process, eat ice cream. (Note: Ice cream can be substituted for long walks or long swims or rough games of squash or R-ball) but in no way is anything you are doing targeted to get that person back. There is no getting back. The point is to get forward.
* Tell your friends once about your heartbreaking loss. If you cannot confine the discussion with your friends to one instance, confine the time spent discussing the gory details to no more than 1 hour actual time. You will need your friends later, so best to not wear out your welcome with them.
* Do not eat too much, drink too much or do drugs to get over your broken heart, unless of course that is how you always act, in which case it is important to remember that a lot of things change in 2 years. If you can change your ideal of self-honesty and acceptance in those next two years for the better, then you will have better odds of finding someone who will want what you want at the same time as you want it. It's all about timing really.
* It really helps if you have good friends who can watch over you and prevent you from doing and/or saying something that you will end up regretting!

Identify The Skill You Already Have

Being a homemaker requires a courage, tenacity, planning, determination and flexibility. All those quantities are also required for any new venture. For one month keep a journal in your scrapbook of everything you do in your daily life and the qualities and skills you use to do them. Then imagine yourself in your new activity and the list of skills you'll need. marking a tick next to the ones you already have. In some cases you may need retraining ( studying to be a counselor, for instance) but in most cases I have found that people already have the skills and quantities they'll need for a new vocation.

How To Heal a Broken Heart

Ever had someone twist your very heart from its cavern with only a couple of words, or worse just with an interminable silence? Ever had someone move on with their life as yours was left to founder? There is a way to laugh and love again.

Try to understand why you are upset. What exact moment did you feel upset?
Don't think about whose fault it was- at one time or another, everyone makes mistakes. Don't worry about it.
Do something quiet and relaxing to help you feel better. Maybe you want to take a hot bath, or meditate, or read a book. That's fine.
In an hour, or two, or whenever you're ready, start thinking about whether you are ready to accept the other person's feelings.
If you are, go ahead, call them, write them a note, or whatever you need to do. Maybe you want to talk face-to-face. They may not be willing to see you, or talk to you, but you should make an effort. Even if they turn you down, you feel better that you tried, and maybe they'll recognize that you made an effort.
Move on. When you feel you are ready to open your heart again, find someone else to be with.
Smile! Seriously, smiling makes you feel better and if you gather a few good, close friends and have a laugh together, you'll remember how good life was without him/her and that you're okay really.
Remember the 2-year rule. It takes 2 years to learn a new job, to get accustomed to a new town and to completely heal a broken heart. If you follow these steps without remembering this first, you will be overly optimistic and disappointed. Real results are obtainable when realistic expectations are set.
The moment he, she or it hammers the last drop of blood from your still loving/beating heart, stop arguing with that person or the fantasy voice of that person about how they are wrong and you are right. Everytime you catch yourself arguing your point in your own mind, just say stop and focus on something completely different.
Gather all the memories of that person and put them in a box, with the exception of 1 picture, one item of food, one item of smell association and one related music item. Then on the next occasion of significance (a Saturday night for example...when you would have normally been with your heartbreaker...put on the music, douse yourself in the scent of memory, eat the special food, turn the lights down low, and cry and rant and wail. You must be at the top of your voice and able to move around the room. Note it is best to do this when you are alone -- see "how to act crazy" post.
Put away the memories. When you regain composure from step 2, put the remainder candy wrappers, music, item of smell memory in the box with the rest of the memory debris. Keep out the picture.

* Every day for a week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud, "Forget you and the horse you rode in on," or some other suitable invective and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop. Say it out loud, be your filthy angriest self in these mutterings.
* Every day for the second week when you walk by the picture of your former beloved, say out loud. I miss you, and then catch yourself arguing with the memory and say stop.
* Every day for the third week when you walk by the picture of your former soul mate, say I am sorry out loud to the picture.
Replace the picture of your former dearest, with a picture of yourself. But keep the picture in the same place, just put a picture of you on top of it. Then every day when you walk by the picture, say I am sorry out loud to the picture. Yes you are apologizing to yourself for having gone that far around the bend for someone who didn't know your value and worth, and who doesn't matter anymore.
Let time heal. It has been one month now. Go to someplace where you used to go or be near your so-called one-true love and go there with a friend (not alone, this is important). Mention 1 time and 1 time only how you used to drink at this very bar or your used to fend off Mr or Mrs. Wonderful's advances in that same back store room, mention it once only and then have a drink or file some papers, or do what ever you used to do, only now with a different person, preferably a comfortable friend who can smile knowingly then move the conversation forward.
Practice being honest to yourself every day.
Read a book every night before you go to sleep. You might never have read books, but nothing moves you outside of yourself better than a book, not a movie, not a music video, read a book. It will help you heal.
Start dating other people again and not be a raving lunatic after about 2 months.
Speak to people. Speak to friends. Try out forums online. Knowing that thousands like you are going through the same pain helps a lot.

Wonder why your emotions control you, instead of the other way around? Emotions are reflections of individual needs. With some work, you can get your life back in order.
Change the cause of emotion. Fix the thoughts, fix the emotions. Circumstances do not cause emotions – rather, your thoughts and attitudes about those circumstances do. the only exception is when emotion is driven by a physical chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be identified and treated effectively with medication.
Realize that thought is not the same as logic. Logic is a system for reasoning, and reasoning is what you do with your thoughts. You may be brilliant at handling your thoughts, but what thoughts are you handling? Even if your thoughts are accurate, processing a dozen facts about a situation may well lead to error if you are unaware that an additional 99 facts are relevant.
Recognize that you have the right to have whatever feelings—and any emotion—you want to have. But you also have the right (and responsibility) to select and use thoughts that benefit and enrich your life, and those around you.
Re-think your attitudes about your circumstances—change your thoughts—and you will significantly change your feelings and emotions (at least enough to positively affect your daily life).
Increase your awareness of and look out for moments when you feel an irrational thought or attitude coming on. Recognize and identify that emotion, then ask yourself, “Where’s the proof in that?"or “What evidence do I have that validates this feeling?" Then use all of the knowledge, tools, and evidence at your disposal, and your best judgment to behave appropriately – to do otherwise cheats you.
Choose the right time and the right place to express your emotion. Controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them. It means you recognize them and act on them when you deem it appropriate, not randomly and uncontrollably.
Cultivate mindfulness

Secret You should Never Share

You can't stand your spouse's family. You make more money than your coworker. You've been sleeping with your boss for months. It's often said that honesty is the best policy, but by spilling certain secrets, you could be opening a Pandora's box. Which innermost thoughts, if revealed, could jeopardize your relationship?

Sharing these shockers with your officemates could be considered indecent exposure.

You make more money than others. Although some progressive labor experts believe in compensation transparency, most companies don't look favorably on employees who swap information about their salaries. In fact, sharing information about your income with a coworker could lead to feelings of inequity, conflicts with management, and even decreased productivity.

You're looking for a new job. Trying to find a new job can be stressful and time-consuming, but whatever you do, don't alert your current employer or fellow employees about your plans. They could choose to replace you before you find a new position. Along these lines, avoid scheduling interviews during work hours, and never use the office email or fax machine to circulate your résumé.

You're sleeping with your boss.Roughly 40 percent of employees have engaged in an office romance at some point in their careers. But a tryst between a superior and a subordinate can be grounds for dismissal. A better course of action? Don't engage in a romantic relationship with your boss, and if you do, definitely don't talk about it.